I actually wrote this on 6/28/17, but it still stands and is exacerbated more by the shooting last week. My son is 5.
There's a quote from the movie Con Air that goes something to the effect of "moments of levity actually bring him pain..." That's how I feel. I live my life constantly waiting for the other shoe to drop. When we're at the gym for family swim and we're all playing in the pool, I ache because I don't want those moments of happiness to end, but I'm so anxious about what could happen. If we're cooking together, I find the moment ruined by my own fears. This is at war with my tendency to view the glass as half full.
But I lay in bed at night, listening for the boogieman at the back door. Every time I get in the car, I wonder if this is the day we get hit. I constantly have terrible thoughts. Is someone going to hurt Edgar? The lobby in his preschool is not very secure, someone could easily get into his school. Can we let him play sports? I recently read an article about athletes sexually assaulting their teammates and calling it hazing. I can't let him go into a locker room. Or to a teammate's house.The coaches aren't watching. Because if they watch, then they're perverts! But if they don't watch, the sickos on the team will hurt Edgar. The parents aren't watching because they don't think their little angels would do that. Or what if it's a third party?! If we teach him self defense, how many could he fight off? Will he be as tall and as big as I think he's going to be?
Is he going to get sick? Is Allen going to get sick? Am *I* going to get sick? On and on ad nauseam.... It is painful. And exhausting. I can't sleep at night, so I take naps when I know Edgar is with Allen. Or am I napping because I'm sick? What did that internet ad mean about puffy feet being a sign of cancer? I have puffy feet, but I thought it was because my medicine makes me retain water. Do I have cancer? Why is my heart racing? Do I have a heart condition?!!? Why is the blood pounding in my ears? Am I going to have an aneurysm? I bet I have a brain tumor. Will it kill me or will I just become a vegetable?
My body is a ticking time bomb. My car and other cars are ticking time bombs. Whacked out gang bangers are going to break down our back door any day and kidnap Edgar to sell on the black market, after bludgeoning me and Allen in our bed. And no one will know because no one here would miss us for at least 2 days. And by then, Bullitt will have eaten my face. And where would they look for Edgar. I wonder if I could scratch my attacker and get his DNA. This nurse was raped one time and she scratched her attacker to get DNA and some fool actually argued that that meant compliance with the assault. Could I get to the closet and get a weapon to fight? My baseball bat is all the way in the closet, but if I put it back under the bed, Edgar will play with it and probably knock out the bedroom window. Yes, this is an actual scenario I fretted about the other night.
Last night, I told Allen we needed to open the window and air out our bedroom this weekend. He said "It's a mild night, let's open it tonight." And I said "That ain't happening. I'm not sleeping with an open window. Two words 'Richard Ramirez'." He actually said "Who?" Who? WHO!? The Night Stalker! He would break into houses and strangle people in their beds. He said he actually looked for open windows. So, no. No thank you. I will NOT be sleeping with an open window! Because if a psycho is going to break in, he's going to have to work for it!
I pray. I pray a lot. I pray throughout the day and at night before bed. I know if I'm not comforted, then that means I'm doing it wrong. Because if I were right in my faith, I'd have no worries, right? I can't just turn anything over to God. Not the nightmare scenarios I come up with. Not the real problems we actually face. I just can't let go of these fears. So maybe God's teaching me a lesson. I don't have enough faith, so things continue as they are. No solution appears. It's my fault for continuing to worry. God is not going to answer because I'm still worrying about it, even after I prayed about it.
Maybe it's because I studied criminal justice. Maybe it's because I worked for a police department. Maybe it's a hold over from all of the things that HAVE happened over the years. I know the Evil that people can do to one another. I know too much and it clouds my brain. Maybe there's just something wrong with me. I'm sorry.
Monday, February 19, 2018
Wednesday, July 23, 2014
There's me and then there's God
Wednesday Night July 16, 2014 my husband, toddler son and I watched Stage 11 of Le Tour de France on our DVR. Allen prefers the live broadcast, so he sets it to record in the morning and then we watch it in the evening. He loves le Tour. I get interested, but not overly so. That night, I was riveted, watching Andrew Talansky's journey. I don't know much about him, except he's from the US and he's part of team Garmin. I don't know his history. I don't know what type of guy he is. I know he touched my heart that night.
That day, he became an Everyman. He became more than himself. I daresay, he became a race legend. At least for me he did. If you saw the race, you know what happened. For those of you that didn't see it, he fell behind the peloton (that's what they call the big group of riders in Le Tour). The first ten stages of Le Tour this year was brutal. There were terrible crashes right and left. Race favorites were dropping out daily. Almost every rider has a scrape here, a bruise there. Andrew was banged up, suffering from back and hip pain. He slid further and further back until he was left behind. At one point, he stopped, got off his bike and just sat down on the side of the road. His coach got out of the team car and talked with him. Of course, we are not privy to these conversations, but afterward the coach said he told Andrew that if he couldn't go on, not to, but that he knew his body best.
Andrew got back on the bike and finished the race solo. No one in his team came back for him. He was on his own. For 51 km/31 miles, he struggled up and down hills, falling further and further back. But still he soldiered on. To understand how momentous this is, you have to understand that riders ride in teams. They help one another. They take turns being the lead rider and drafting off one another. There's also that mental element of having someone with you. All he had was himself, and his coach in his ear - giving him encouragement, information, whatever motivation he needed to get to the end of that leg.
There's a metaphor in this. Or a simile. All I know is, I watched Andrew ride with tears in my eyes. Because I've been there. I've been the guy at the back of the pack, by myself, falling further and further behind. Oh, not on a huge bicycle tour. But in LIFE. Le Tour is a life event. Stage 11 is the most challenging point. The pack has left you behind. Your team, your friends and family, riding their own race - facing their own struggles, couldn't stop to help you. It was just you. And the little voice in your ear, guiding you along.
That guiding voice? That's God. Oh, not that I'm saying Andrew's coach is God. I'm saying that in the metaphor, he represents God. Giving encouragement, selected information - what you need to know to get through it, being there to listen. But having to stay hands off. Andrew's coach couldn't ride with him. He couldn't drive the car in front for Andrew to draft off. That's not legal in the race and, at that point, Andrew was planning on staying it, so he couldn't afford the time penalty. He was racing the clock, required to finished with a certain time or he'd be eliminated for taking too long. He had a deadline. Any penalties could ruin his time.
Occasionally, there were bystanders along the route, cheering him on. They recognized the momentous effort he was putting in. They realized what he was up against, what he was trying to do. But like his coach, they couldn't actively help him ride. Andrew had to do that on his own. Like a beast, he finished that race over 30 minutes behind the stage winner, narrowly making the time limit. But he finished. He was bruised, battered and spent but he finished that Stage. Ultimately, he wound up withdrawing from Le Tour because of his injuries. But that doesn't diminish what he accomplished. He finished that ride. He did it. He didn't get a special jersey or stand on a podium with a model in a funky dress, but he finished that ride. He finished the ride!
God is there for us. There's an old poem called Footprints. I love it. In the poem, there's a discussion between a man and God about their footprints on the beach. Most of the time there's two sets of prints. During the toughest times, the man notes there's only one set and accuses God of abandoning him. But no, God carried the man through those tough times. Emotionally, that is how it is. God will be there for you, listening, giving you information and direction, occasionally handing you a bottle of water. Staying as close as possible.
I find myself talking to God a lot, laying out my concerns and fears. Especially because I don't want to burden my family and friends with my problems. They have their own serious issues they're working through. There are just times in life, stages in your events where you're by yourself, 51 kilometers behind everyone else and it's just you and God. Just you and God.
Wednesday, May 09, 2012
Last night, I was shocked and angry, as well as deeply saddened. You see, I've been highly opposed to Amendment 1 in North Carolina, where I was born and raised. I have been advocating that people vote no all over Facebook and in my personal conversations. So when I heard the results of yesterday's vote, I didn't know what to say. This morning, I do know what to say....
What I want to say to those of you who voted FOR this amendment is congratulations. Yes, CONGRATULATIONS. CONGRATULATIONS, you just signed someone's death warrant because of lost domestic violence protections. Congratulations, there's a family in danger now, just because it doesn't fit YOUR narrow definition of family. Congratulations, you've cost someone health care coverage. Congratulations, you've written hate and discrimination into our State's constitution, setting us back 60 years. Congratulations, you violated the United States Constitution. Or did you forget that part about separation of church and state? Congratulations, the whole country thinks we're a bunch of bigots, despite the fact that 40% of us said no. Congratulations, you've forced your will on the unwilling. CONGRATULATIONS!
But, despite what you might think, I'm not angriest at YOU. I'm angriest at those who didn't bother to vote yesterday or early vote all last week. CONGRATULATIONS to you, you didn't even bother to TRY to fight for what you believe in. Silence is compliance. So THANK YOU ever SO MUCH for not thinking of anyone but yourself.
To those of us who said no, we WILL have this repealed. This will not stand.
Wednesday, January 11, 2012
Scents/sense
This morning I was eating breakfast when I started smelling tobacco. The room got super cold and the scent lingered.
I was home alone, I don't use tobacco and it was unlikely that the smell came from outside.
Immediately, I worried something had happened to my husband. He uses tobacco, but he keeps it with him at work. I got up and went and got my phone, relieved to see he'd been posting on Facebook (I get texts when he does). Once I figured out he was okay, I realized the visitor might have been my dad. I've always associated the smell of tobacco with him.
My best friend is intuitive. So of course I told her about it. I'm "sensitive" but whereas I'd see a gentle glow, she can see it like it's a spotlight.
I should have said hi. But because I'm paranoid, I thought Allen was hurt. I hope that I didn't scare my dad off.
I'm glad he popped in. I miss him.
I was home alone, I don't use tobacco and it was unlikely that the smell came from outside.
Immediately, I worried something had happened to my husband. He uses tobacco, but he keeps it with him at work. I got up and went and got my phone, relieved to see he'd been posting on Facebook (I get texts when he does). Once I figured out he was okay, I realized the visitor might have been my dad. I've always associated the smell of tobacco with him.
My best friend is intuitive. So of course I told her about it. I'm "sensitive" but whereas I'd see a gentle glow, she can see it like it's a spotlight.
I should have said hi. But because I'm paranoid, I thought Allen was hurt. I hope that I didn't scare my dad off.
I'm glad he popped in. I miss him.
Saturday, January 07, 2012
It's great that fat people want to work out....
...in theory. We don't want to SEE them.....
At least this is the message I got. This local radio host made a post on Facebook yesterday railing about how a fat person got on the machine in front of him at the gym and ruined his sightline. I'm sure he meant it as a joke, but it brought up a real concern of mine about the gym. I've always felt like the fitter people would look at me and think "What is SHE doing here?" Not "Wow, good for her for trying." But "Eeeew, get out of 'our' house." And I was right. People DO judge you at the gym. I used to tell myself not to worry about what all the ROTC runners or aerobics girls on the ellipticals thought of me. They weren't concerned with me. Silly me. Of COURSE they were judging me.
It's part of the reason I haven't been swimming in awhile. I can just picture people looking at me in my bathing suit and cringing. And when you're trying to get back into a routine, little things discourage you. I haven't had a skirted swimsuit in years but I found myself wishing for one recently because then that would at least be SOME coverage. I don't NEED a new suit. My pretty, royal blue one piece is perfectly fine. Except, you know, you can see my fat when I wear it. My goodness, I wear that in public? Apparently, I should be ashamed of myself for subjecting other people to that.
I wish I was comfortable money wise. I'd just spent 20 grand and get myself a workout pool here at the house. Then no one would be forced to look at me as I try to work out in a manner that doesn't hurt my knee. Good God, I wouldn't want to gross anyone out or ruin their sightlines with my fat arms and thighs sticking out of my swimsuit. The horror.
So, yeah, it's great if fat people work out, as long as it's at the back of the gym.
At least this is the message I got. This local radio host made a post on Facebook yesterday railing about how a fat person got on the machine in front of him at the gym and ruined his sightline. I'm sure he meant it as a joke, but it brought up a real concern of mine about the gym. I've always felt like the fitter people would look at me and think "What is SHE doing here?" Not "Wow, good for her for trying." But "Eeeew, get out of 'our' house." And I was right. People DO judge you at the gym. I used to tell myself not to worry about what all the ROTC runners or aerobics girls on the ellipticals thought of me. They weren't concerned with me. Silly me. Of COURSE they were judging me.
It's part of the reason I haven't been swimming in awhile. I can just picture people looking at me in my bathing suit and cringing. And when you're trying to get back into a routine, little things discourage you. I haven't had a skirted swimsuit in years but I found myself wishing for one recently because then that would at least be SOME coverage. I don't NEED a new suit. My pretty, royal blue one piece is perfectly fine. Except, you know, you can see my fat when I wear it. My goodness, I wear that in public? Apparently, I should be ashamed of myself for subjecting other people to that.
I wish I was comfortable money wise. I'd just spent 20 grand and get myself a workout pool here at the house. Then no one would be forced to look at me as I try to work out in a manner that doesn't hurt my knee. Good God, I wouldn't want to gross anyone out or ruin their sightlines with my fat arms and thighs sticking out of my swimsuit. The horror.
So, yeah, it's great if fat people work out, as long as it's at the back of the gym.
2011 Reading List
This is what I read last year:
001. Dead on the Dance Floor by Heather Graham (Jan4) - murder, mystery, ballroom dancing
002. The Girl Who Chased the Moon by Sarah Addison Allen (Jan6) - family, relationships, grief, forgiveness, love
003. Sleeping with Anemone by Kate Collins (Jan9) - murder, mystery, Flower Shop mystery, Abby Knight
004. LOLCats: How to Take Over the World (Jan12) - funny, photo, cats
005. Ghouls Gone Wild by Victoria Laurie (Jan12) - ghosts, Ghost Hunters, MJ Holliday
006. The Crowning Glory of Calla Lily Ponder by Rebecca Wells (Jan15) - family, relationships, healing
007. Death's Excellent Vacation edited by Charlaine Harris and Toni LP Kelner (Jan21) - mystery, murder, occult, short stories
008. Ghouls, Ghouls, Ghouls by Victoria Laurie (Jan23) - ghosts, Ghost Hunters, MJ Holliday
009. Insatiable by Meg Cabot (Jan25) - murder, mystery, vampires
010. How Not to Make a Wish by Mindy Klasky (Jan27) - family, relationships, wishes, genie, As You Wish series
011. In the Woods by Tana French (Feb3) - murder, mystery, cold case, Ireland, Irish Detective Squad
012. A Nose for Justice by Rita Mae Brown (Feb7) - murder, mystery, ranching
013. The Postcard Killers by James Patterson and Liza Marklund (Feb10) - murder, mystery
014. The Invisible Circus by Jennifer Egan (feb14) - family, relationships
015. I Am Number Four by Pittacus Lore (Feb17) - aliens, Lorien Legacies
016. Dirty Rotten Tendrils by Kate Collins (Feb20) - murder, mystery, Flower Shop mystery, Abby Knight
017. H is for Homicide by Sue Grafton (Feb24) - murder, mystery, Kinsey Milhone
018. Cupid Cats by Katie MacAlister, Vicki Lewis Thompson and Connie Brockway (Feb27) - short stories, cats, shelters, romance
019. The Likeness by Tana French (Mar6) - murder, mystery, Ireland, undercover police work, Irish Detective Squad
020. Witch and Wizard by James Patterson and Gabrielle Charbonnet (Mar9) - politics, opression, witchcraft, the Allgoods
021. Girl's Guide to Witchcraft by Mindy Klasky (Mar12) - magic, DC, library, relationships, Jane Madison series
022. A Woman in Berlin: Eight Weeks in the Conquered City by Anonymous (Mar16) - WWII, a diary, war memoir
023. Witch & Wizard: The Gift by James Patterson and Ned Rust (Mar19) - politics, opression, witchcraft, the Allgoods
024. I is for Innocent by Sue Grafton (Mar23) - murder, mystery, Kinsey Milhone
025. The Peach Keeper by Sarah Addison Allen (Mar25) - family, relationships, friendship, mystery
026. Sleeping with Patty Hearst by Mary Lambeth Moore (Mar27) - family, relationships, historical
025. Ghost at Work by Carolyn Hart (Mar31) - mystery, murder, Bailey Ruth Raeburn
026. Backseat Saints by Joshilyn Jackson (Apr2) - family, relationships, abandonment, domestic violence
027. Futility: or Wreck of the Titan by Morgan Robertson (Apr3) - boat sinking, 1898, historic fiction
027. Sorcery and the Single Girl by Mindy Klasky (Apr7) - magic, DC, library, relationships, Jane Madison series
028. Across the Universe by Beth Revis (Apr10) - murder, mystery, science fiction, futuristic fiction, space
029. Barbie Unbound by Sarah Strohmeyer (Apr10) - photo, essay, satire
030. Wicked Appetite by Janet Evanovich (Apr12) - mystery, fantasy, magic, Diesel
031. J is for Judgment by Sue Grafton (Apr17) - murder, mystery, Kinsey Millhone
032. Bless the Bride by Rhys Bowen (Apr21) - murder, mystery, relationships, Molly Murphy
033. Mama Day by Gloria Naylor (Apr24) - family, relationships, spiritualism, magic
034. Fire by Kristin Cashore (May1) - fantasy, intrigue
035. The Girl Who Fell From the Sky by Heidi Durrow (May3) - family, relationships, trauma, alcoholism, death
036. The Curse of the Holy Pail by Sue Ann Jaffarian (May7) - murder, mystery, Odelia Grey
037. K is for Killer by Sue Grafton (May11) - murder, mystery, Kinsey Millhone
038. Gatsby's Girl by Caroline Preston (May14) - family, relationships, historical
039. Thugs and Kisses by Sue Ann Jaffarian (May17) - murder, mystery, Odelia Grey
040. Hollywood Haunted: A Ghostly Tour of Filmland by Laurie Jacobson and Marc Wanamaker (Jun20) - mystery, ghosts, Hollywood history
041. The Joys of Love by Madeleine L'Engle (May22) - relationships theater
042. The Last Days of Dead Celebrities by Mitchell Fink (May26) - non-fiction, celebrities, biography
043. Murder of a Bookstore Babe by Denise Swanson (May30) - murder, mystery, Skye Dennison, Scumble River
044. A Bright and Guilty Place by Richard Rayner (June3) - murder, mystery, Los Angeles history
045. Pumped for Murder by Elaine Viets (June5) - murder, mystery, Dead End Job mysteries, Helen Hawthorne
046. Me, Myself and Why? by Mary Janice Davidson (June8) - mystery, murder, Agent Jones
047. And She Was by Cindy Dyson (Jun11) - mystery, Aleutian Islands, Aleut history, historical novel
048. Merry, Merry Ghost by Carolyn Hart (Jun15) - mystery, murder, Bailey Ruth Raeburn
049. Booby Trap by Sue Ann Jaffarian (Jun17) - murder, mystery, Odelia Grey
050. Girl Sleuth: Nancy Drew and the Women Who Created Her by Melanie Rehak (Jun27) - Nancy Drew, Stratemeyer Syndicate, Mildred Wirt Benson, Harriet Stratemeyer Adams
051. The Hollywood Book of Scandals by James Parish (Jun28) - mysteries, actors, actresses, Hollywood history
052. The Butcher of Beverly Hills by Jennifer Colt (Jul2) - murder, mystery, McAfee Twins
053. L is for Lawless by Sue Grafton (Jul5) - murder, mystery, Kinsey Millhone
054. gods in Alabama by Joshilyn Jackson (Jul8) - family, relationships
055. A Night to Remember by Walter Lord (Jul11) - Titanic, history
056. Faithful Place by Tana French (Jul15) - murder, mystery, cold case, Ireland, Irish Detective Squad
057. Dead Head by Rosemary Harris (Jul19) - murder, mystery, Dirty Business, Paula Holliday
058. Don't Breathe a Word by Jennifer McMahon (Jul22) - mystery, murder, fantasy, family, abuse
059. Corpse on the Cob by Sue Ann Jaffarian (Jul27) - mystery, murder, Odelia Grey
060. Hex Hall by Rachel Hawkins (Jul29) - mystery, murder, fantasy, Sophie Mercer
061. Hexed by Ilona Andrews, Yasmine Galenorn, Allyson James and Jeanne Stein (Jul31) - novellas, Storm Walker, Anna Strong, Kate Daniels, Iris Kuusi
062. Ghost a' la Mode by Sue Ann Jaffarian (Aug3) - mystery, murder, Emma Whitecastle, The Ghost of Granny Apples
063. Magic Slays by Ilona Andrews (Aug6) - mystery, murder, occult, Kate Daniels
064. Beauty Queens by Libba Bray (Aug9) - murder, mystery, satire
065. The Diary by Eileen Goudge (Aug12) - family, relationships
066. Magic and the Modern Girl by Mindy Klasky (Aug16) - magic, DC, library, relationships, Jane Madison series
067. Slugfest by Rosemary Harris (Aug19) - mystery, murder, Paula Holliday, Dirty Business
068. The Help by Kathryn Stockett (Aug22) - family, relationships, historical, Civil Rights
069. Storm Walker by Allyson James (Aug25) - murder, mystery, occult, Storm Walker
070. Abandon by Meg Cabot (Aug29) - mystery, modern day mythology
071. The Invisible Bridge by Julie Orringer (Sept4) - historical, WWII, Hungarian Jews, family, the Holocaust
072. Overbite by Meg Cabot (Sept) - mystery, murder, Meena Harper, Alaric Wulf
073. The Mangler of Malibu Canyon by Jennifer Colt (Sept) - McAfee Twins, murder, mystery, cults
074. M is for Malice by Sue Grafton (Sept16) - murder, mystery, Kinsey Millhone
075. In the Garden of Beasts by Erik Larson (Sept22) - history, WWII, Nazi Germany, espionage, US State Department, 1930s
076. Texas Gothic by Rosemary Clement-Moore (Sept24) - murder, mystery, relationships, witches, ghosts
077. Smokin Seventeen by Janet Evanovich (Sept25) - mystery, murder, Stephanie Plum
078. Clara Bow: Runnin Wild by David Stenn (Oct1) - biography, Hollywood, Clara Bow
079. A Discovery of Witches by Deborah Harkness (Oct9) - the Occult, mystery, murder, witches, vampire, daemons, Diana Bishop
080. N is for Noose by Sue Grafton (Oct18) - mystery, murder, Kinsey Millhone, Alphabet series
081. Witchling by Yasmine Galenorn (Oct21) - mystery, fantasy, murder, D'Artigo Sisters, Otherworld
082. The Shirt on His Back by Barbara Hambly (Oct23) - murder, mystery, Benjamin January
083. Let's Talk About Pep by Sandy "Pepa" Denton with Karen Hunter (Oct27) - autobiography, Sandy Denton, Salt-n-Pepa
084. Ellen Foster by Kaye Gibbons (Oct28) - family, relationships, abusive family
085. O if for Outlaw by Sue Grafton (Nov2) - murder, mystery, Kinsey Millhone, Alphabet series
086. Changling by Yasmine Galenorn (Nov7) - murder, mystery, fantasy, D'Artigo Sisters, Otherworld
087. Dead Reckoning by Charlaine Harris (Nov10) - mystery, Sookie Stackhouse, Southern Vampire series
088. Train Wreck: The Life and Death of Anna Nicole Smith by Donna Hogan as told to Henrietta Tiefenthaler (Nov13) - biography
089. Demonglass by Rachel Hawkins (Nov15) - Hex Hall, Sophie Mercer, fantasy
090. Darkling by Yasmine Galenorn (Nov19) - mystery, murder, D'Artigo sisters
091. Home Improvement: Undead Edition by Various (Nov23) - mystery, murder, short stories, witches, vampires, shapeshifters, magic
092. High on Arrival by Mackenzie Phillips (Nov26) - autobiography
093. P is for Peril by Sue Grafton (Nov29) - murder, mystery, Kinsey Millhone
094. Dragon Wytch by Yasmine Galenorn (Dec3) - mystery, fantasy, D'Artigo sisters
095. I Think I Love You by Allison Pearson (Dec7) - family, relationships, nostalgia
096. Put on Your Crown: Life-Changing Moments on the Path to Queendom by Queen Latifah (Dec11) - autobiography, inspirational
097. Daughter of Deceit by Patricia Sprinkle (Dec15) - mystery, murder, genealogy, fanily
098. Night Huntress by Yasmine Galenorn (Dec18) - mystery, fantasy, D'Artigo sisters
099. Q is for Quarry by Sue Grafton (Dec23) - murder, mystery, Kinsey Millhone, Alphabet series
100. An Angel for Christmas by Heather Graham (Dec25) - mystery, faith, angels, family, relationships
101. Gentlemen Prefer Blondes by Anita Loos (Dec26) - relationships, historical, flappers, kept women
102. Mobbed by Carol Higgins Clark (Dec27) - mystery, Regan Reilly
103. Demon Mistress by Yasmine Galenorn (Dec30) - murder, mystery, fantasy, D'Artigo sisters
104. Cheerleaders 19: Making It by Susan Blake (Dec31) - young adult, Cheerleaders series
Less books this year, but I read more non-fiction and less young adult books. Also, two of the books (The first two "Thirst" Books) were actually three-in-ones. So technically, I read 108 books.
001. Dead on the Dance Floor by Heather Graham (Jan4) - murder, mystery, ballroom dancing
002. The Girl Who Chased the Moon by Sarah Addison Allen (Jan6) - family, relationships, grief, forgiveness, love
003. Sleeping with Anemone by Kate Collins (Jan9) - murder, mystery, Flower Shop mystery, Abby Knight
004. LOLCats: How to Take Over the World (Jan12) - funny, photo, cats
005. Ghouls Gone Wild by Victoria Laurie (Jan12) - ghosts, Ghost Hunters, MJ Holliday
006. The Crowning Glory of Calla Lily Ponder by Rebecca Wells (Jan15) - family, relationships, healing
007. Death's Excellent Vacation edited by Charlaine Harris and Toni LP Kelner (Jan21) - mystery, murder, occult, short stories
008. Ghouls, Ghouls, Ghouls by Victoria Laurie (Jan23) - ghosts, Ghost Hunters, MJ Holliday
009. Insatiable by Meg Cabot (Jan25) - murder, mystery, vampires
010. How Not to Make a Wish by Mindy Klasky (Jan27) - family, relationships, wishes, genie, As You Wish series
011. In the Woods by Tana French (Feb3) - murder, mystery, cold case, Ireland, Irish Detective Squad
012. A Nose for Justice by Rita Mae Brown (Feb7) - murder, mystery, ranching
013. The Postcard Killers by James Patterson and Liza Marklund (Feb10) - murder, mystery
014. The Invisible Circus by Jennifer Egan (feb14) - family, relationships
015. I Am Number Four by Pittacus Lore (Feb17) - aliens, Lorien Legacies
016. Dirty Rotten Tendrils by Kate Collins (Feb20) - murder, mystery, Flower Shop mystery, Abby Knight
017. H is for Homicide by Sue Grafton (Feb24) - murder, mystery, Kinsey Milhone
018. Cupid Cats by Katie MacAlister, Vicki Lewis Thompson and Connie Brockway (Feb27) - short stories, cats, shelters, romance
019. The Likeness by Tana French (Mar6) - murder, mystery, Ireland, undercover police work, Irish Detective Squad
020. Witch and Wizard by James Patterson and Gabrielle Charbonnet (Mar9) - politics, opression, witchcraft, the Allgoods
021. Girl's Guide to Witchcraft by Mindy Klasky (Mar12) - magic, DC, library, relationships, Jane Madison series
022. A Woman in Berlin: Eight Weeks in the Conquered City by Anonymous (Mar16) - WWII, a diary, war memoir
023. Witch & Wizard: The Gift by James Patterson and Ned Rust (Mar19) - politics, opression, witchcraft, the Allgoods
024. I is for Innocent by Sue Grafton (Mar23) - murder, mystery, Kinsey Milhone
025. The Peach Keeper by Sarah Addison Allen (Mar25) - family, relationships, friendship, mystery
026. Sleeping with Patty Hearst by Mary Lambeth Moore (Mar27) - family, relationships, historical
025. Ghost at Work by Carolyn Hart (Mar31) - mystery, murder, Bailey Ruth Raeburn
026. Backseat Saints by Joshilyn Jackson (Apr2) - family, relationships, abandonment, domestic violence
027. Futility: or Wreck of the Titan by Morgan Robertson (Apr3) - boat sinking, 1898, historic fiction
027. Sorcery and the Single Girl by Mindy Klasky (Apr7) - magic, DC, library, relationships, Jane Madison series
028. Across the Universe by Beth Revis (Apr10) - murder, mystery, science fiction, futuristic fiction, space
029. Barbie Unbound by Sarah Strohmeyer (Apr10) - photo, essay, satire
030. Wicked Appetite by Janet Evanovich (Apr12) - mystery, fantasy, magic, Diesel
031. J is for Judgment by Sue Grafton (Apr17) - murder, mystery, Kinsey Millhone
032. Bless the Bride by Rhys Bowen (Apr21) - murder, mystery, relationships, Molly Murphy
033. Mama Day by Gloria Naylor (Apr24) - family, relationships, spiritualism, magic
034. Fire by Kristin Cashore (May1) - fantasy, intrigue
035. The Girl Who Fell From the Sky by Heidi Durrow (May3) - family, relationships, trauma, alcoholism, death
036. The Curse of the Holy Pail by Sue Ann Jaffarian (May7) - murder, mystery, Odelia Grey
037. K is for Killer by Sue Grafton (May11) - murder, mystery, Kinsey Millhone
038. Gatsby's Girl by Caroline Preston (May14) - family, relationships, historical
039. Thugs and Kisses by Sue Ann Jaffarian (May17) - murder, mystery, Odelia Grey
040. Hollywood Haunted: A Ghostly Tour of Filmland by Laurie Jacobson and Marc Wanamaker (Jun20) - mystery, ghosts, Hollywood history
041. The Joys of Love by Madeleine L'Engle (May22) - relationships theater
042. The Last Days of Dead Celebrities by Mitchell Fink (May26) - non-fiction, celebrities, biography
043. Murder of a Bookstore Babe by Denise Swanson (May30) - murder, mystery, Skye Dennison, Scumble River
044. A Bright and Guilty Place by Richard Rayner (June3) - murder, mystery, Los Angeles history
045. Pumped for Murder by Elaine Viets (June5) - murder, mystery, Dead End Job mysteries, Helen Hawthorne
046. Me, Myself and Why? by Mary Janice Davidson (June8) - mystery, murder, Agent Jones
047. And She Was by Cindy Dyson (Jun11) - mystery, Aleutian Islands, Aleut history, historical novel
048. Merry, Merry Ghost by Carolyn Hart (Jun15) - mystery, murder, Bailey Ruth Raeburn
049. Booby Trap by Sue Ann Jaffarian (Jun17) - murder, mystery, Odelia Grey
050. Girl Sleuth: Nancy Drew and the Women Who Created Her by Melanie Rehak (Jun27) - Nancy Drew, Stratemeyer Syndicate, Mildred Wirt Benson, Harriet Stratemeyer Adams
051. The Hollywood Book of Scandals by James Parish (Jun28) - mysteries, actors, actresses, Hollywood history
052. The Butcher of Beverly Hills by Jennifer Colt (Jul2) - murder, mystery, McAfee Twins
053. L is for Lawless by Sue Grafton (Jul5) - murder, mystery, Kinsey Millhone
054. gods in Alabama by Joshilyn Jackson (Jul8) - family, relationships
055. A Night to Remember by Walter Lord (Jul11) - Titanic, history
056. Faithful Place by Tana French (Jul15) - murder, mystery, cold case, Ireland, Irish Detective Squad
057. Dead Head by Rosemary Harris (Jul19) - murder, mystery, Dirty Business, Paula Holliday
058. Don't Breathe a Word by Jennifer McMahon (Jul22) - mystery, murder, fantasy, family, abuse
059. Corpse on the Cob by Sue Ann Jaffarian (Jul27) - mystery, murder, Odelia Grey
060. Hex Hall by Rachel Hawkins (Jul29) - mystery, murder, fantasy, Sophie Mercer
061. Hexed by Ilona Andrews, Yasmine Galenorn, Allyson James and Jeanne Stein (Jul31) - novellas, Storm Walker, Anna Strong, Kate Daniels, Iris Kuusi
062. Ghost a' la Mode by Sue Ann Jaffarian (Aug3) - mystery, murder, Emma Whitecastle, The Ghost of Granny Apples
063. Magic Slays by Ilona Andrews (Aug6) - mystery, murder, occult, Kate Daniels
064. Beauty Queens by Libba Bray (Aug9) - murder, mystery, satire
065. The Diary by Eileen Goudge (Aug12) - family, relationships
066. Magic and the Modern Girl by Mindy Klasky (Aug16) - magic, DC, library, relationships, Jane Madison series
067. Slugfest by Rosemary Harris (Aug19) - mystery, murder, Paula Holliday, Dirty Business
068. The Help by Kathryn Stockett (Aug22) - family, relationships, historical, Civil Rights
069. Storm Walker by Allyson James (Aug25) - murder, mystery, occult, Storm Walker
070. Abandon by Meg Cabot (Aug29) - mystery, modern day mythology
071. The Invisible Bridge by Julie Orringer (Sept4) - historical, WWII, Hungarian Jews, family, the Holocaust
072. Overbite by Meg Cabot (Sept) - mystery, murder, Meena Harper, Alaric Wulf
073. The Mangler of Malibu Canyon by Jennifer Colt (Sept) - McAfee Twins, murder, mystery, cults
074. M is for Malice by Sue Grafton (Sept16) - murder, mystery, Kinsey Millhone
075. In the Garden of Beasts by Erik Larson (Sept22) - history, WWII, Nazi Germany, espionage, US State Department, 1930s
076. Texas Gothic by Rosemary Clement-Moore (Sept24) - murder, mystery, relationships, witches, ghosts
077. Smokin Seventeen by Janet Evanovich (Sept25) - mystery, murder, Stephanie Plum
078. Clara Bow: Runnin Wild by David Stenn (Oct1) - biography, Hollywood, Clara Bow
079. A Discovery of Witches by Deborah Harkness (Oct9) - the Occult, mystery, murder, witches, vampire, daemons, Diana Bishop
080. N is for Noose by Sue Grafton (Oct18) - mystery, murder, Kinsey Millhone, Alphabet series
081. Witchling by Yasmine Galenorn (Oct21) - mystery, fantasy, murder, D'Artigo Sisters, Otherworld
082. The Shirt on His Back by Barbara Hambly (Oct23) - murder, mystery, Benjamin January
083. Let's Talk About Pep by Sandy "Pepa" Denton with Karen Hunter (Oct27) - autobiography, Sandy Denton, Salt-n-Pepa
084. Ellen Foster by Kaye Gibbons (Oct28) - family, relationships, abusive family
085. O if for Outlaw by Sue Grafton (Nov2) - murder, mystery, Kinsey Millhone, Alphabet series
086. Changling by Yasmine Galenorn (Nov7) - murder, mystery, fantasy, D'Artigo Sisters, Otherworld
087. Dead Reckoning by Charlaine Harris (Nov10) - mystery, Sookie Stackhouse, Southern Vampire series
088. Train Wreck: The Life and Death of Anna Nicole Smith by Donna Hogan as told to Henrietta Tiefenthaler (Nov13) - biography
089. Demonglass by Rachel Hawkins (Nov15) - Hex Hall, Sophie Mercer, fantasy
090. Darkling by Yasmine Galenorn (Nov19) - mystery, murder, D'Artigo sisters
091. Home Improvement: Undead Edition by Various (Nov23) - mystery, murder, short stories, witches, vampires, shapeshifters, magic
092. High on Arrival by Mackenzie Phillips (Nov26) - autobiography
093. P is for Peril by Sue Grafton (Nov29) - murder, mystery, Kinsey Millhone
094. Dragon Wytch by Yasmine Galenorn (Dec3) - mystery, fantasy, D'Artigo sisters
095. I Think I Love You by Allison Pearson (Dec7) - family, relationships, nostalgia
096. Put on Your Crown: Life-Changing Moments on the Path to Queendom by Queen Latifah (Dec11) - autobiography, inspirational
097. Daughter of Deceit by Patricia Sprinkle (Dec15) - mystery, murder, genealogy, fanily
098. Night Huntress by Yasmine Galenorn (Dec18) - mystery, fantasy, D'Artigo sisters
099. Q is for Quarry by Sue Grafton (Dec23) - murder, mystery, Kinsey Millhone, Alphabet series
100. An Angel for Christmas by Heather Graham (Dec25) - mystery, faith, angels, family, relationships
101. Gentlemen Prefer Blondes by Anita Loos (Dec26) - relationships, historical, flappers, kept women
102. Mobbed by Carol Higgins Clark (Dec27) - mystery, Regan Reilly
103. Demon Mistress by Yasmine Galenorn (Dec30) - murder, mystery, fantasy, D'Artigo sisters
104. Cheerleaders 19: Making It by Susan Blake (Dec31) - young adult, Cheerleaders series
Less books this year, but I read more non-fiction and less young adult books. Also, two of the books (The first two "Thirst" Books) were actually three-in-ones. So technically, I read 108 books.
2010 Reading List
This is what I read in 2010:
001. Deadly Gift by Heather Graham (Jan1) - murder, mystery, Irish legends, Flynn Brothers
002. From Dead to Worse by Charlaine Harris (Jan3) - murder, mystery, werewolves, vampires, Sookie Stackhouse
003. Dead and Gone by Charlaine Harris (Jan3) - murder, mystery, werewolves, vampires, Sookie Stackhouse
004. The Nature of Animal Healing by Dr Martin Goldstein (Jan5) - animals, holistic veterinary medicine
005. Killer Riff by Sheryl J Anderson (Jan8) - murder, mystery, Molly Forrester
006. Must Love Hellhounds by Charlaine Harris, Nalini Singh, Ilona Andrews and Meljean Brook (Jan12) - short stories, mysteries, occult
007. A Touch of Dead by Charlaine Harris (Jan13) - Sookie Stackhouse, short stories
008. The Whiskey Rebels by David Liss (Jan18) - mystery, historical, political
009. The Julius House by Charlaine Harris (Jan21) - mystery, murder, Roe Teagarden
010. Bite by Laurell K. Hamilton, Charlaine Harris, MaryJanice Davidson, Angela Knight and Vickie Knight (Jan27) - murder, mystery, vampires
011. Twenties Girl by Sophie Kinsella (Jan30) - mystery, family, relationships, ghosts
012. Strange Brew by PN Elrod and several others (Feb1) - mystery, witches, murder, occult, fantasy
013. Don't Make Me Choose Between You and My Shoes by Dixie Cash (Feb3) - murder, mystery, Debbie Sue Overstreet, the Domestic Equalizers
014. Dead Over Heels by Charlaine Harris (Feb5) - mystery, murder, Aurora Teagarden
015. The Island by Heather Graham (Feb10) - murder, mystery
016. Angel's Blood by Nalini Singh (Feb14) - mystery, murder, Hunters Guild, Elena Deveraux
017. Manhunt by James L. Swanson (Feb23) - true crime, Abraham Lincoln, John Wilkes Booth
018. Magic Bites by Ilona Andrews (Feb25) - mystery, murder, shapeshifters, vampires, magic, Kate Daniels
019. Brava, Valentine by Adriana Trigiani (Feb28) - family, relationships, Valentine Roncalli
020. The Wednesday Sisters by Meg Waite Clayton (Mar6) - family, relationships
021. A Fool and His Honey by Charlaine Harris (Mar7) - mystery, murder, Aurora Teagarden
022. Last Scene Alive by Charlaine Harris (May10) - mystery, murder, Aurora Teagarden
023. Magic Burns by Ilona Andrews (Mar12) - mystery, murder, shapeshifters, vampires, magic, Kate Daniels
024. Home in Time for Christmas by Heather Graham (Mar15) - relationships, family, the Revolution, magic
025. Most Evil by Steve Hodel (Mar20) - murder, true crime, Elizabeth Short, Black Dahlia, Zodiac
026. Archangel's Kiss by Nalini Singh (Mar21) - mystery, murder, Hunters Guild, Elena Deveraux
027. Rude Awakenings of a Jane Austen Addict by Laurie Viera Rigler (Mar27) - relationships, family, fantasy, magic, starting over
028. The Year of the Flood by Margaret Atwood (Mar31) - future, mass destruction, survival
029. Why Moms are Weird by Pamela Ribon (Apr10) - family, relationships
030. Magic Strikes by Ilona Andrews (Apr17) - mystery, murder, shapeshifters, vampires, magic, Kate Daniels
031. Fatal Vision by Joe McGinniss (Apr22) - murder, Jeffrey MacDonald, non-fiction crime
032. Movie * Icons Steve McQueen by Paul Duncan and Alain Silver (Apr23) - Steve McQueen
033. Zapped by Carol Higgins Clark (Apr26) - murder, mystery, Regan Reilly
034. Big Boned by Meg Cabot (Apr29) - murder, mystery, Heather Wells
035. Doom with a View by Victoria Laurie (May2) - murder, mystery, politics, Abby Cooper, Psychic Eye Mystery
036. In a Gilded Cage by Rhys Bowen (May5) - murder, mystery, suffragettes, Molly Murphy
037. The Last Illusion by Rhys Bowen (May8) - murder, mystery, Houdini, theater, Molly Murphy
038. Half-Price Homicide by Elaine Viets (May9) - murder, mystery, Helen Hawthorne
039. Dusk to Dawn: Charleston by Joe McElmore (May11) - photos, non-fiction
040. Christietown by Susan Kandel (May14) - murder, mystery, Cece Caruso
041. Why Girls Are Weird by Pamela Ribon (May15) - relationships, family
042. Her Royal Spyness by Rhys Bowen (May17) - murder, mystery, Lady Georgiana, Her Royal Spyness
043. Hurricane Bay by Heather Graham (May16) - murder, mystery
044. The Killing Edge by Heather Graham (May26) - murder, mystery, Adam Harrison, Nikki Blackhawk
045. Swimming by Nicola Keegan (May30) - relationships, family, swimming, Olympics
046. A Royal Pain by Rhys Bowen (Jun1) - murder, mystery, Lady Georgiana, Her Royal Spyness
047. Fatal Justice by Jerry Allen Potter and Fred Bost (Jun9) - Jeffrey MacDonald, murder, non-fiction crime, government cover-up
048. Dial H for Hitchcock by Susan Kandel (Jun13) - murder, mystery, Cece Caruso
049. The 4-Day Diet by Dr Ian Smith (Jun16) - recipes, self-help, healthy
050. Royal Flush by Rhys Bowen (Jun18) - murder, mystery, Lady Georgiana, Her Royal Spyness
051. Haunted by Heather Graham (Jun21) - murder, mystery, Adam Harrison
052. A is for Alibi by Sue Grafton (Jun25) - murder, mystery, Kinsey Millhone
053. Cursed by Carol Higgins Clark (Jun26) - murder, mystery, Regan Reilly
054. Wrecked by Carol Higgins Clark (Jun28) - murder, mystery, Regan Reilly
055. B is for Burglar by Sue Grafton (Jul3) - murder, mystery, Kinsey Millhone
056. Night's Edge by Charlaine Harris, Maggie Shayne and Barbara Hambly (Jul6) - murder, mystery, short stories
057. Homefront by Catherine Lutz (Jul14) - history, military, Ft Bragg, Fayetteville
058. Crimes by Moonlight: Mysteries from the Darkside by Various, edited by Charlaine Harris (Jul19) - mysteries, murder, short stories, the occult
059. The Missing Ink by Karen E. Olson (Jul22) - murder, mystery, Tattoo Shop mystery
060. Sizzling Sixteen by Janet Evanovich (Jul23) - mystery, Stephanie Plum
061. Dead in the Family by Charlaine Harris (Jul25) - murder, mystery, werewolves, vampires, Sookie Stackhouse
062. C is for Corpse by Sue Grafton (Jul27) - murder, mystery, Kinsey Millhone
063. Poppy Done to Death by Charlaine Harris (Jul29) - mystery, murder, Roe Teagarden
064. Gods Behaving Badly by Marie Phillips (Jul31) - ancient Greece, Greek gods, mystery
065. The House on Tradd Street by Karen White (Aug3) - mystery, murder, occult, ghosts, haunting, historic houses, Charleston
066. Nightwalker by Heather Graham (Aug6) - murder, mystery, Adam Harrison Investigations, Nikki Blackhawk
067. Our Red Hot Romance Is Leaving Me Blue by Dixie Cash (Aug8) - haunting, ghosts, mystery, Debbie Sue Overstreet, the Domestic Equalizers
068. Nefertiti by Michelle Moran (Aug13) - ancient Egypt, politics, historical novel, megalomania
069. Betsy-Tacy by Maud Hart Lovelace (Aug14) - friendship
070. Magic Bleeds by Ilona Andrews (Aug17) - mystery, murder, shapeshifters, magic, Kate Daniels
071. A Glimpse of Evil by Victoria Laurie (Aug21) - murder, mystery, Abby Cooper, Psychic Eye Mystery
072. The Girl on Legare Street by Karen White (Aug23) - mystery, murder, occult, ghosts, haunting, historic houses, Charleston
073. D is for Deadbeat by Sue Grafton (Aug27) - murder, mystery, Kinsey Millhone
074. Shakespeare's Landlord by Charlaine Harris (Aug29) - Lily Bard, murder, mystery
075. Way Down Dead in Dixie by Caroline Cousins (Aug31) - murder, mystery, Indigo Island, Lindsey Fox and cousins
076. Murder of a Wedding Belle by Denise Swanson (Sep1) - murder, mystery, Scumble River, Skye Denison
077. 50 Simple Ways to Pamper Your Cat by Arden Moore (Sep5) - cats, pet care
078. The Girl with No Shadow by Joanne Harris (Sep5) - mystery, Vianne Rocher, relationships, magic, love
079. Betsy-Tacy and Tib by Maud Hart Lovelace (Sep7) - friendship
080. sTori Telling by Tori Spelling with Hilary Liftin (Sep9) - family, relationships, biography
081. Fiddle Dee Death by Caroline Cousins (Sep11) - murder, mystery, Indigo Island, Lindsey Fox and cousins
082. Demon Ex Machina by Julie Kenner (Sep14) - demons, mystery, Demon-Hunting Soccer Mom, Kate Connor
083. Dressed to Keel by Candy Calvert (Sep17) - murder, mystery, Darcy Cavanaugh
084. Fly Away Home by Jennifer Weiner (Sep19) - family, relationships, adultery, public figures
085. Royal Blood by Rhys Bowen (Sep22) - murder, mystery, Lady Georgiana, Her Royal Spyness
086. Mums the Word by Kate Collins (Sep26) - mystery, murder, Flower Shop, Abby Knight
087. Shakespeare's Champion by Charlaine Harris (Sep26) - Lily Bard, murder, mystery
088. Aye Do or Die by Candy Calvert (Sep28) - murder, mystery, Darcy Cavanaugh
089. Thirst Volume 1 - The Last Vampire, Black Blood, Red Dice by Christopher Pike (Oct3) - mystery, vampires, Sita, spiritualism, murder
090. Mommywood by Tori Spelling (Oct6) - family, relationships, parenthood
091. Thirst Volume 2 - Phantom, Evil Thirst, Creatures of Forever by Christopher Pike (Oct10) - mystery, vampires, Sita, spiritualism, murder
092. The Last of Her Kind by Sigrid Nunez ((Oct16) - relationships, the 60s, prison, memoirs
093. Mai Tai to Murder by Candy Calvert (Oct17) - murder, mystery, Darcy Cavanaugh
094. Shakespeare's Christmas by Charlaine Harris (Oct19) - Lily Bard, murder, mystery
095. Marsh Madness by Caroline Cousins (Oct22) - murder, mystery, Indigo Island, Lindsey Fox and cousins
096. Uncharted TerriTORI by Tori Spelling (Oct24) - family, relationships, career, autobiography
097. Slay it with Flowers by Kate Collins - mystery, murder, Flower Shop, Abby Knight
098. Mini Shopaholic by Sophie Kinsella (Oct30) - family, relationships, parenting
099. E is for Evidence by Sue Grafton (Nov2) - murder, mystery, Kinsey Millhone
100. Shakespeare's Trollop by Charlaine Harris (Nov4) - Lily Bard, murder, mystery
101. Shakespeare's Counselor by Charlaine Harris (Nov6) - Lily Bard, murder, mystery
102. Creating Myself by Mia Tyler (Nov9) - autobiography, relationships, family, triumph
103. Dearly Depotted by Kate Collins (Nov12) - mystery, murder, Flower Shop, Abby Knight
104. Island Beneath the Sea by Isabel Allende (Nov19) - historical fiction, family, relationships, slavery, Haiti, Saint-Dominique, New Orleans
105. F is for Fugitive by Sue Grafton (Nov24) - murder, mystery, Kinsey Millhone
106. Titanic's Last Secrets by Brad Matsen (Nov27) - Titanic, deep sea diving, Brittanic, history
107. Viola in Reel Life by Adriana Trigiani (Nov28) - boarding school, relationships
108. Snipped in the Bud by Kate Collins (Nov29) - mystery, murder, Flower Shop, Abby Knight
109. Murder at the Portland Variety by M. J. Zellnik (Dec2) - murder, mystery, Libby Seale
110. The Brightest Star in the Sky by Marian Keyes (Dec5) - family, relationships, PTSD
111. Of Love and Evil by Anne Rice (Dec8) - mystery, relationships, Toby O'Dare
112. Santa's Snow Kitten by Sue Stainton and Anne Mortimer (Dec11) - Santa Claus, cats, childrens
113. Mater Saves Christmas by Kiel Murray (Dec11) - childrens, cars, Christmas
114. Acts of Violets by Kate Collins (Dec12) - mystery, murder, Flower Shop, Abby Knight
115. G is for Gumshoe by Sue Grafton (Dec15) - murder, mystery, Kinsey Millhone
116. Titanic Survivor by Violet Jessop (Dec22) - Titanic, Brittanic, ocean liner crew, biography
117.A Rose from the Dead by Kate Collins (Dec25) - murder, mystery, Flower Shop, Abby Knight
118. Shoots to Kill by Kate Collins (Dec26) - murder, mystery, Flower Shop, Abby Knight
119. Evil in Carnations by Kate Collins (Dec28) - murder, mystery, Flower Shop, Abby Knight
120. The Lost Girls by Laurie Fox (Dec31) - Wendy Darling, Peter Pan, family, relationships, mental health, delusion
001. Deadly Gift by Heather Graham (Jan1) - murder, mystery, Irish legends, Flynn Brothers
002. From Dead to Worse by Charlaine Harris (Jan3) - murder, mystery, werewolves, vampires, Sookie Stackhouse
003. Dead and Gone by Charlaine Harris (Jan3) - murder, mystery, werewolves, vampires, Sookie Stackhouse
004. The Nature of Animal Healing by Dr Martin Goldstein (Jan5) - animals, holistic veterinary medicine
005. Killer Riff by Sheryl J Anderson (Jan8) - murder, mystery, Molly Forrester
006. Must Love Hellhounds by Charlaine Harris, Nalini Singh, Ilona Andrews and Meljean Brook (Jan12) - short stories, mysteries, occult
007. A Touch of Dead by Charlaine Harris (Jan13) - Sookie Stackhouse, short stories
008. The Whiskey Rebels by David Liss (Jan18) - mystery, historical, political
009. The Julius House by Charlaine Harris (Jan21) - mystery, murder, Roe Teagarden
010. Bite by Laurell K. Hamilton, Charlaine Harris, MaryJanice Davidson, Angela Knight and Vickie Knight (Jan27) - murder, mystery, vampires
011. Twenties Girl by Sophie Kinsella (Jan30) - mystery, family, relationships, ghosts
012. Strange Brew by PN Elrod and several others (Feb1) - mystery, witches, murder, occult, fantasy
013. Don't Make Me Choose Between You and My Shoes by Dixie Cash (Feb3) - murder, mystery, Debbie Sue Overstreet, the Domestic Equalizers
014. Dead Over Heels by Charlaine Harris (Feb5) - mystery, murder, Aurora Teagarden
015. The Island by Heather Graham (Feb10) - murder, mystery
016. Angel's Blood by Nalini Singh (Feb14) - mystery, murder, Hunters Guild, Elena Deveraux
017. Manhunt by James L. Swanson (Feb23) - true crime, Abraham Lincoln, John Wilkes Booth
018. Magic Bites by Ilona Andrews (Feb25) - mystery, murder, shapeshifters, vampires, magic, Kate Daniels
019. Brava, Valentine by Adriana Trigiani (Feb28) - family, relationships, Valentine Roncalli
020. The Wednesday Sisters by Meg Waite Clayton (Mar6) - family, relationships
021. A Fool and His Honey by Charlaine Harris (Mar7) - mystery, murder, Aurora Teagarden
022. Last Scene Alive by Charlaine Harris (May10) - mystery, murder, Aurora Teagarden
023. Magic Burns by Ilona Andrews (Mar12) - mystery, murder, shapeshifters, vampires, magic, Kate Daniels
024. Home in Time for Christmas by Heather Graham (Mar15) - relationships, family, the Revolution, magic
025. Most Evil by Steve Hodel (Mar20) - murder, true crime, Elizabeth Short, Black Dahlia, Zodiac
026. Archangel's Kiss by Nalini Singh (Mar21) - mystery, murder, Hunters Guild, Elena Deveraux
027. Rude Awakenings of a Jane Austen Addict by Laurie Viera Rigler (Mar27) - relationships, family, fantasy, magic, starting over
028. The Year of the Flood by Margaret Atwood (Mar31) - future, mass destruction, survival
029. Why Moms are Weird by Pamela Ribon (Apr10) - family, relationships
030. Magic Strikes by Ilona Andrews (Apr17) - mystery, murder, shapeshifters, vampires, magic, Kate Daniels
031. Fatal Vision by Joe McGinniss (Apr22) - murder, Jeffrey MacDonald, non-fiction crime
032. Movie * Icons Steve McQueen by Paul Duncan and Alain Silver (Apr23) - Steve McQueen
033. Zapped by Carol Higgins Clark (Apr26) - murder, mystery, Regan Reilly
034. Big Boned by Meg Cabot (Apr29) - murder, mystery, Heather Wells
035. Doom with a View by Victoria Laurie (May2) - murder, mystery, politics, Abby Cooper, Psychic Eye Mystery
036. In a Gilded Cage by Rhys Bowen (May5) - murder, mystery, suffragettes, Molly Murphy
037. The Last Illusion by Rhys Bowen (May8) - murder, mystery, Houdini, theater, Molly Murphy
038. Half-Price Homicide by Elaine Viets (May9) - murder, mystery, Helen Hawthorne
039. Dusk to Dawn: Charleston by Joe McElmore (May11) - photos, non-fiction
040. Christietown by Susan Kandel (May14) - murder, mystery, Cece Caruso
041. Why Girls Are Weird by Pamela Ribon (May15) - relationships, family
042. Her Royal Spyness by Rhys Bowen (May17) - murder, mystery, Lady Georgiana, Her Royal Spyness
043. Hurricane Bay by Heather Graham (May16) - murder, mystery
044. The Killing Edge by Heather Graham (May26) - murder, mystery, Adam Harrison, Nikki Blackhawk
045. Swimming by Nicola Keegan (May30) - relationships, family, swimming, Olympics
046. A Royal Pain by Rhys Bowen (Jun1) - murder, mystery, Lady Georgiana, Her Royal Spyness
047. Fatal Justice by Jerry Allen Potter and Fred Bost (Jun9) - Jeffrey MacDonald, murder, non-fiction crime, government cover-up
048. Dial H for Hitchcock by Susan Kandel (Jun13) - murder, mystery, Cece Caruso
049. The 4-Day Diet by Dr Ian Smith (Jun16) - recipes, self-help, healthy
050. Royal Flush by Rhys Bowen (Jun18) - murder, mystery, Lady Georgiana, Her Royal Spyness
051. Haunted by Heather Graham (Jun21) - murder, mystery, Adam Harrison
052. A is for Alibi by Sue Grafton (Jun25) - murder, mystery, Kinsey Millhone
053. Cursed by Carol Higgins Clark (Jun26) - murder, mystery, Regan Reilly
054. Wrecked by Carol Higgins Clark (Jun28) - murder, mystery, Regan Reilly
055. B is for Burglar by Sue Grafton (Jul3) - murder, mystery, Kinsey Millhone
056. Night's Edge by Charlaine Harris, Maggie Shayne and Barbara Hambly (Jul6) - murder, mystery, short stories
057. Homefront by Catherine Lutz (Jul14) - history, military, Ft Bragg, Fayetteville
058. Crimes by Moonlight: Mysteries from the Darkside by Various, edited by Charlaine Harris (Jul19) - mysteries, murder, short stories, the occult
059. The Missing Ink by Karen E. Olson (Jul22) - murder, mystery, Tattoo Shop mystery
060. Sizzling Sixteen by Janet Evanovich (Jul23) - mystery, Stephanie Plum
061. Dead in the Family by Charlaine Harris (Jul25) - murder, mystery, werewolves, vampires, Sookie Stackhouse
062. C is for Corpse by Sue Grafton (Jul27) - murder, mystery, Kinsey Millhone
063. Poppy Done to Death by Charlaine Harris (Jul29) - mystery, murder, Roe Teagarden
064. Gods Behaving Badly by Marie Phillips (Jul31) - ancient Greece, Greek gods, mystery
065. The House on Tradd Street by Karen White (Aug3) - mystery, murder, occult, ghosts, haunting, historic houses, Charleston
066. Nightwalker by Heather Graham (Aug6) - murder, mystery, Adam Harrison Investigations, Nikki Blackhawk
067. Our Red Hot Romance Is Leaving Me Blue by Dixie Cash (Aug8) - haunting, ghosts, mystery, Debbie Sue Overstreet, the Domestic Equalizers
068. Nefertiti by Michelle Moran (Aug13) - ancient Egypt, politics, historical novel, megalomania
069. Betsy-Tacy by Maud Hart Lovelace (Aug14) - friendship
070. Magic Bleeds by Ilona Andrews (Aug17) - mystery, murder, shapeshifters, magic, Kate Daniels
071. A Glimpse of Evil by Victoria Laurie (Aug21) - murder, mystery, Abby Cooper, Psychic Eye Mystery
072. The Girl on Legare Street by Karen White (Aug23) - mystery, murder, occult, ghosts, haunting, historic houses, Charleston
073. D is for Deadbeat by Sue Grafton (Aug27) - murder, mystery, Kinsey Millhone
074. Shakespeare's Landlord by Charlaine Harris (Aug29) - Lily Bard, murder, mystery
075. Way Down Dead in Dixie by Caroline Cousins (Aug31) - murder, mystery, Indigo Island, Lindsey Fox and cousins
076. Murder of a Wedding Belle by Denise Swanson (Sep1) - murder, mystery, Scumble River, Skye Denison
077. 50 Simple Ways to Pamper Your Cat by Arden Moore (Sep5) - cats, pet care
078. The Girl with No Shadow by Joanne Harris (Sep5) - mystery, Vianne Rocher, relationships, magic, love
079. Betsy-Tacy and Tib by Maud Hart Lovelace (Sep7) - friendship
080. sTori Telling by Tori Spelling with Hilary Liftin (Sep9) - family, relationships, biography
081. Fiddle Dee Death by Caroline Cousins (Sep11) - murder, mystery, Indigo Island, Lindsey Fox and cousins
082. Demon Ex Machina by Julie Kenner (Sep14) - demons, mystery, Demon-Hunting Soccer Mom, Kate Connor
083. Dressed to Keel by Candy Calvert (Sep17) - murder, mystery, Darcy Cavanaugh
084. Fly Away Home by Jennifer Weiner (Sep19) - family, relationships, adultery, public figures
085. Royal Blood by Rhys Bowen (Sep22) - murder, mystery, Lady Georgiana, Her Royal Spyness
086. Mums the Word by Kate Collins (Sep26) - mystery, murder, Flower Shop, Abby Knight
087. Shakespeare's Champion by Charlaine Harris (Sep26) - Lily Bard, murder, mystery
088. Aye Do or Die by Candy Calvert (Sep28) - murder, mystery, Darcy Cavanaugh
089. Thirst Volume 1 - The Last Vampire, Black Blood, Red Dice by Christopher Pike (Oct3) - mystery, vampires, Sita, spiritualism, murder
090. Mommywood by Tori Spelling (Oct6) - family, relationships, parenthood
091. Thirst Volume 2 - Phantom, Evil Thirst, Creatures of Forever by Christopher Pike (Oct10) - mystery, vampires, Sita, spiritualism, murder
092. The Last of Her Kind by Sigrid Nunez ((Oct16) - relationships, the 60s, prison, memoirs
093. Mai Tai to Murder by Candy Calvert (Oct17) - murder, mystery, Darcy Cavanaugh
094. Shakespeare's Christmas by Charlaine Harris (Oct19) - Lily Bard, murder, mystery
095. Marsh Madness by Caroline Cousins (Oct22) - murder, mystery, Indigo Island, Lindsey Fox and cousins
096. Uncharted TerriTORI by Tori Spelling (Oct24) - family, relationships, career, autobiography
097. Slay it with Flowers by Kate Collins - mystery, murder, Flower Shop, Abby Knight
098. Mini Shopaholic by Sophie Kinsella (Oct30) - family, relationships, parenting
099. E is for Evidence by Sue Grafton (Nov2) - murder, mystery, Kinsey Millhone
100. Shakespeare's Trollop by Charlaine Harris (Nov4) - Lily Bard, murder, mystery
101. Shakespeare's Counselor by Charlaine Harris (Nov6) - Lily Bard, murder, mystery
102. Creating Myself by Mia Tyler (Nov9) - autobiography, relationships, family, triumph
103. Dearly Depotted by Kate Collins (Nov12) - mystery, murder, Flower Shop, Abby Knight
104. Island Beneath the Sea by Isabel Allende (Nov19) - historical fiction, family, relationships, slavery, Haiti, Saint-Dominique, New Orleans
105. F is for Fugitive by Sue Grafton (Nov24) - murder, mystery, Kinsey Millhone
106. Titanic's Last Secrets by Brad Matsen (Nov27) - Titanic, deep sea diving, Brittanic, history
107. Viola in Reel Life by Adriana Trigiani (Nov28) - boarding school, relationships
108. Snipped in the Bud by Kate Collins (Nov29) - mystery, murder, Flower Shop, Abby Knight
109. Murder at the Portland Variety by M. J. Zellnik (Dec2) - murder, mystery, Libby Seale
110. The Brightest Star in the Sky by Marian Keyes (Dec5) - family, relationships, PTSD
111. Of Love and Evil by Anne Rice (Dec8) - mystery, relationships, Toby O'Dare
112. Santa's Snow Kitten by Sue Stainton and Anne Mortimer (Dec11) - Santa Claus, cats, childrens
113. Mater Saves Christmas by Kiel Murray (Dec11) - childrens, cars, Christmas
114. Acts of Violets by Kate Collins (Dec12) - mystery, murder, Flower Shop, Abby Knight
115. G is for Gumshoe by Sue Grafton (Dec15) - murder, mystery, Kinsey Millhone
116. Titanic Survivor by Violet Jessop (Dec22) - Titanic, Brittanic, ocean liner crew, biography
117.A Rose from the Dead by Kate Collins (Dec25) - murder, mystery, Flower Shop, Abby Knight
118. Shoots to Kill by Kate Collins (Dec26) - murder, mystery, Flower Shop, Abby Knight
119. Evil in Carnations by Kate Collins (Dec28) - murder, mystery, Flower Shop, Abby Knight
120. The Lost Girls by Laurie Fox (Dec31) - Wendy Darling, Peter Pan, family, relationships, mental health, delusion
OH wow. It's been forever since I posted my musing about eyebrows. I just honestly forget I have this blog.....
A lot has happened in the year and a half since I posted. Most notably, we adopted a kitten almost a year ago. His name is Bullitt (after the movie starring the king of cool, Steve McQueen) and he's all gray. He's a year and a half old and either flying around the house (he's so aptly named) or sleeping it off (as he literally is while I'm typing).
Other than that, things are about the same. Flora, our older cat, has been sick, but she's in remission and doing great. She's my little come back kid.
Work is good. I'm having a lot of good hair days. My health could be better, but hey, I'm a work in progress....
I've read a LOT of good books lately, but I haven't been updating shelfari. Ooops. I forgot I had it, because I keep a list on Livejournal, old school style....
I'll post the lists here....
A lot has happened in the year and a half since I posted. Most notably, we adopted a kitten almost a year ago. His name is Bullitt (after the movie starring the king of cool, Steve McQueen) and he's all gray. He's a year and a half old and either flying around the house (he's so aptly named) or sleeping it off (as he literally is while I'm typing).
Other than that, things are about the same. Flora, our older cat, has been sick, but she's in remission and doing great. She's my little come back kid.
Work is good. I'm having a lot of good hair days. My health could be better, but hey, I'm a work in progress....
I've read a LOT of good books lately, but I haven't been updating shelfari. Ooops. I forgot I had it, because I keep a list on Livejournal, old school style....
I'll post the lists here....
Saturday, June 12, 2010
My friend Tammi has perfect eyebrows. I'm sure she worked at them to get them where they are. Or maybe they're naturally like that. Eyebrows are a small thing, but they make a huge difference. Like on the most recent Top Model cycle, that girl Nadua. She was GORGEOUS coming into the competition. Then they shaved off hey eyebrows and she just looked weird. Then she drew them BACK ON and she looked great. (And, yeah, Krista as winner? What?) Anyway.... The last time I got a pedicure, they looked at me and said "We need to do your eyebrows." It's BAD when total strangers tell you that you need it done without you even asking. And, okay, mine are a little Brooke Shields without BEING Brooke Shields. And, yeah, I have a cowlick in one.... But come on.....
I wonder what Tammi uses.
I wonder what Tammi uses.
Tuesday, May 18, 2010
Sunney Girl
My little Sunney kitty passed away about 3 weeks ago. 4/24/10 around 7:30 am. My heart is broken. I still expect her to pop up. It's been tough. I had her for 13 years. She had a cancerous tumor in her nasal cavity and it just grew and grew. Eventually, she couldn't eat on her own and I believe her body shut down.
RIP beautiful Sunney Bunney. We miss and love you. You're always in our hearts.
RIP beautiful Sunney Bunney. We miss and love you. You're always in our hearts.
Arguing?
My husband and I keep arguing more and more. Last week we were on vacation. We argued about parking spots. PARKING SPOTS. Mainly, we were in a city that is very historic and there is NOWHERE to park in the downtown area. We tried to go to dinner twice and both times there was no parking. Who fights over parking? I worry, we've been fighting so much lately. We fight over the house. We fight over who does what or who percieves who as doing nothing. We argue over changed expectations. We didn't used to argue. Are we arguing more because I'm not avoiding anymore or are we just not careful enough with one another. When did we become a couple that argues on vacation over parking?
Tuesday, February 03, 2009
Reality Check
I have a few minutes between tasks and I have to give my opinion on an issue that's come up in the past few weeks. Normally I write "reality check" posts about the reality TV I watch. Cause we all know what a reality TV geek I am!
The issue I'm writing about right now, though, is Jessica Simpson's weight. There were pictures all over the web showing her in blue jeans and a black tank top, with two layered belts on, screaming about her weight gain. First of all, it's an unfortunate outfit. But hey, she can wear what she wants if she feels comfortable. Regardless of what I think of her singing or acting , she is a GORGEOUS woman! She's beautiful. As far as her "weight gain", I think she looks great. She looks healthy and lush and I'm sure a lot of people drooled over those photos.
What really bothers me is that 1) this is what the media focuses on? Let's see, economic bailouts right and left to companies using the money for questionable things, new history-making president just sworn in, Superbowl, wars all over the place and this is what the media is focusing on? Oh NOES Jessica gained weight! It doesn't really matter in the grand scheme of things! The second thing that bothers me is that women and girls are hearing and seeing that Jessica Simpson is fat! So every female who looks like her or is bigger is being told "you're fat." Which translates into "you're not attractive, you're not acceptible, you need to change yourself" and that's just wrong on so many levels. Why are beautiful people torn down like that? The third thing, and this really ties into #2, that is annoying about this is that the myth that super skinny is attractive is being perpetuated. So there are boys out there learning "Jessica Simpson is not attractive" and girl learning "If I look like that, I'm not attractive." And that's heart breaking. Because of the criticism of those pictures, another eating disorder was born. Finally, what is annoying about the whole thing is that if she was losing weight, they'd say she was anorexic! So basically, people can't win. There apparently is no happy medium, you're either too fat or too skinny.
What does it matter? Her worth is NOT in her looks or her weight. Her worth is in her heart and her character. That's what people need to hear about and see.
The issue I'm writing about right now, though, is Jessica Simpson's weight. There were pictures all over the web showing her in blue jeans and a black tank top, with two layered belts on, screaming about her weight gain. First of all, it's an unfortunate outfit. But hey, she can wear what she wants if she feels comfortable. Regardless of what I think of her singing or acting , she is a GORGEOUS woman! She's beautiful. As far as her "weight gain", I think she looks great. She looks healthy and lush and I'm sure a lot of people drooled over those photos.
What really bothers me is that 1) this is what the media focuses on? Let's see, economic bailouts right and left to companies using the money for questionable things, new history-making president just sworn in, Superbowl, wars all over the place and this is what the media is focusing on? Oh NOES Jessica gained weight! It doesn't really matter in the grand scheme of things! The second thing that bothers me is that women and girls are hearing and seeing that Jessica Simpson is fat! So every female who looks like her or is bigger is being told "you're fat." Which translates into "you're not attractive, you're not acceptible, you need to change yourself" and that's just wrong on so many levels. Why are beautiful people torn down like that? The third thing, and this really ties into #2, that is annoying about this is that the myth that super skinny is attractive is being perpetuated. So there are boys out there learning "Jessica Simpson is not attractive" and girl learning "If I look like that, I'm not attractive." And that's heart breaking. Because of the criticism of those pictures, another eating disorder was born. Finally, what is annoying about the whole thing is that if she was losing weight, they'd say she was anorexic! So basically, people can't win. There apparently is no happy medium, you're either too fat or too skinny.
What does it matter? Her worth is NOT in her looks or her weight. Her worth is in her heart and her character. That's what people need to hear about and see.
Wednesday, March 05, 2008
my path
God is working in my life. I was raised in a Baptist church. I accepted Jesus at the age of 10 and was baptized then. I grew up being a good girl. I never went through a drinking or drugging or horrible behavior crisis. I got good grades. I went to church regularly. I tried to help people. I never assaulted or did anything worse to anyone. My sins weren't the obvious ones. No, my sins were in the gray area. Pride in my grades. More recently prideful attitude at work. And now I don't have that job anymore. Stubborness is a sin. Self loathing is a sin. Self doubt is a sin. Emotionally and mentally beating up on yourself is a sin. Gossip is a sin. Self reliance is a sin when you refuse to rely on God.
I read a Postsecret book last night and thought "I have a lot of things I want to get off my chest. I'm going to send in a postcard." Then I thought "Wait a minute, why not just give those things to God instead?" So I wrote them all out in my journal. Good, bad, philosophical. The bad things I was released from. The good things, I was thankful for. And I decided I was still going to send a message to Postsecret (I think I'm going to submit them in an email - it's a lot!) because what I was burdened with might just help someone else. But I didn't need to give them to Postsecret to unburden myself, I had done that by giving it to God.
God is working in my life. Big changes are in the works and I'm trying to be ready for them. A couple weeks ago, I posted about pipe dreams. I've come to the realization that those dreams may not be what God has intended for me. So along with realizing that I have to let go of the reigns, I may have to give up those dreams, because they may not be what God has planned. But I'm also realizing that what God has planned may be beyond my wildest dreams. I have to trust God. I've seen that s/he definitely is working in my life. I've seen evidence that s/he answers prayers. I have to "let go and let God." It's hard. I'm stubborn, I'm independent. But I'm trying.
I also have been thinking of forgiveness. Not just for recent hurts or betrayals, but all the way back junior high, no, elementary school. Today, I started saying the names of people I carried grudges against or still felt hurt by. My ex. The ex-SIL that gave me so much grief when Allen was overseas. People I used to work with that hurt me. People from high school and junior high that hurt me. People from my old church and from college and my frat. Other ex-boyfriends. Family members. And then... I asked God to bless each and every one of them. It's not worth it to hold the bitterness in my heart. It's too ugly for what I want in my heart. And I don't have room for all of that bitterness and resentment and hate. I have to have room for all the Love I want to give. Love of God, Love of Allen, Love of my family and friends. Love of my future family. I don't want that ugliness to touch them. So I want to let it all go. God will take care of them and if s/he sees fit to punish someone, s/he will. It's not up to me. And it's really not something I need to be carrying anymore. The really funny thing is as I said each name, I actually felt lighter!!!!! It's a beautiful thing.
I read a Postsecret book last night and thought "I have a lot of things I want to get off my chest. I'm going to send in a postcard." Then I thought "Wait a minute, why not just give those things to God instead?" So I wrote them all out in my journal. Good, bad, philosophical. The bad things I was released from. The good things, I was thankful for. And I decided I was still going to send a message to Postsecret (I think I'm going to submit them in an email - it's a lot!) because what I was burdened with might just help someone else. But I didn't need to give them to Postsecret to unburden myself, I had done that by giving it to God.
God is working in my life. Big changes are in the works and I'm trying to be ready for them. A couple weeks ago, I posted about pipe dreams. I've come to the realization that those dreams may not be what God has intended for me. So along with realizing that I have to let go of the reigns, I may have to give up those dreams, because they may not be what God has planned. But I'm also realizing that what God has planned may be beyond my wildest dreams. I have to trust God. I've seen that s/he definitely is working in my life. I've seen evidence that s/he answers prayers. I have to "let go and let God." It's hard. I'm stubborn, I'm independent. But I'm trying.
I also have been thinking of forgiveness. Not just for recent hurts or betrayals, but all the way back junior high, no, elementary school. Today, I started saying the names of people I carried grudges against or still felt hurt by. My ex. The ex-SIL that gave me so much grief when Allen was overseas. People I used to work with that hurt me. People from high school and junior high that hurt me. People from my old church and from college and my frat. Other ex-boyfriends. Family members. And then... I asked God to bless each and every one of them. It's not worth it to hold the bitterness in my heart. It's too ugly for what I want in my heart. And I don't have room for all of that bitterness and resentment and hate. I have to have room for all the Love I want to give. Love of God, Love of Allen, Love of my family and friends. Love of my future family. I don't want that ugliness to touch them. So I want to let it all go. God will take care of them and if s/he sees fit to punish someone, s/he will. It's not up to me. And it's really not something I need to be carrying anymore. The really funny thing is as I said each name, I actually felt lighter!!!!! It's a beautiful thing.
Saturday, February 09, 2008
Pipe Dreams
I have many dreams. I always pictured myself as a rock star. Always. Since I was a child, I've envisioned myself on stage, entertaining. I have a decent voice and I can write pretty good lyrics, but I can't really play an instrument.
I love to write. I have written several short stories lately. And I've been working on a few novels. There are several stories sitting in my head just waiting to be written out. I guess I need to outline them so I don't forget or they don't get tangled into one another. I just worry that what I'm writing isn't good, that it's just a dream that anyone will ever read it and get enjoyment from it.
I picture the house I want to live in. It's two story, made of stone. There's a sort of floating staircase in the room that goes up to the second level, which looks over the living room. The living room is huge, with a sunken area for the couches and a projection screen TV. The screen it projects onto is shaped like a large boat sail. There's several rooms off the living room: the kitchen (equiped with an 8 burner electric range and two ovens as well as a huge island in the middle and a breakfast nook set into a bay window and the laundry room shooting off of that near the garage entrance), a dining room, a work out room, a library with floor to ceiling bookshelves and two chaises to read on and a desk with the computer, a guest bedroom, a full bathroom and a sunroom with banquet window seating and an area for crafts that doubles as a game table and treated windows that you can see out of, but no one can see into. On the second floor, there is a master suite complete with balcony and full bath (with a three person jacuzzi tub) and walk in dressing room, several other bedrooms and bathrooms to go with those, a playroom full of the latest toys that also has four of those big chairs that pull out into single beds and a reading nook at the top of the stairs. I see this house in my head and it sounds a little weird right now, but in my head it's lovely.
I want several vehicles. My dream car is a 1968 dark purple Chevy Camaro. I also want a 4 door Jeep for fun. And a Hybrid for every day driving. I want to get Allen a 1968 Dodge truck, red in color. And of course, we're keeping the Dodge Ram we have now because I love it. So along with the above described house, there's a multi-car garage with storage and a work area for when the cars need attention.
I see all these things in my head. It's what I want. And being in America is all about having dreams. But are these realistic dreams or just pipe dreams? What do I have to do to get these things? Do I have it in me to do it? Should I keep hoping for these things? How do you know when it's time to give up a dream and just let it go? How do you cope when you do have to let a dream go?
I love to write. I have written several short stories lately. And I've been working on a few novels. There are several stories sitting in my head just waiting to be written out. I guess I need to outline them so I don't forget or they don't get tangled into one another. I just worry that what I'm writing isn't good, that it's just a dream that anyone will ever read it and get enjoyment from it.
I picture the house I want to live in. It's two story, made of stone. There's a sort of floating staircase in the room that goes up to the second level, which looks over the living room. The living room is huge, with a sunken area for the couches and a projection screen TV. The screen it projects onto is shaped like a large boat sail. There's several rooms off the living room: the kitchen (equiped with an 8 burner electric range and two ovens as well as a huge island in the middle and a breakfast nook set into a bay window and the laundry room shooting off of that near the garage entrance), a dining room, a work out room, a library with floor to ceiling bookshelves and two chaises to read on and a desk with the computer, a guest bedroom, a full bathroom and a sunroom with banquet window seating and an area for crafts that doubles as a game table and treated windows that you can see out of, but no one can see into. On the second floor, there is a master suite complete with balcony and full bath (with a three person jacuzzi tub) and walk in dressing room, several other bedrooms and bathrooms to go with those, a playroom full of the latest toys that also has four of those big chairs that pull out into single beds and a reading nook at the top of the stairs. I see this house in my head and it sounds a little weird right now, but in my head it's lovely.
I want several vehicles. My dream car is a 1968 dark purple Chevy Camaro. I also want a 4 door Jeep for fun. And a Hybrid for every day driving. I want to get Allen a 1968 Dodge truck, red in color. And of course, we're keeping the Dodge Ram we have now because I love it. So along with the above described house, there's a multi-car garage with storage and a work area for when the cars need attention.
I see all these things in my head. It's what I want. And being in America is all about having dreams. But are these realistic dreams or just pipe dreams? What do I have to do to get these things? Do I have it in me to do it? Should I keep hoping for these things? How do you know when it's time to give up a dream and just let it go? How do you cope when you do have to let a dream go?
Sunday, December 30, 2007
Animal Rescue
Lisa Dowaliby, former Ghost Hunter on SciFi, is an animal rescuer and posted this on her myspace blog. It's amazing and I had to pass this on.
"I found this piece on the craigslist pets section. It sums up the mindset of the people in the animal field, whether it be veterinary, rescue, rehab, or all of the above. You see, we KNOW we can't save them all. But for the ones we can save, what a difference it makes.
Adapted from The Star Thrower by Loren Eiseley
Once upon a time, there was a wise man who used to go to
the ocean to do his writing. He had a habit of walking on the
beach before he began his work.
One day, as he was walking along the shore, he looked down
the beach and saw a human figure moving like a dancer. He
smiled to himself at the thought of someone who would dance
to the day, and so, he walked faster to catch up.
As he got closer, he noticed that the figure was that of a young
man, and that what he was doing was not dancing at all. The
young man was reaching down to the shore, picking up small
objects, and throwing them into the ocean.
He came closer still and called out "Good morning! May I ask
what it is that you are doing?"
The young man paused, looked up, and replied "Throwing
starfish into the ocean."
"I must ask, then, why are you throwing starfish into the
ocean?" asked the somewhat startled wise man.
To this, the young man replied, "The sun is up and the tide is
going out. If I don't throw them in, they'll die."
Upon hearing this, the wise man commented, "But, young
man, do you not realize that there are miles and miles of beach
and there are starfish all along every mile? You can't possibly
make a difference!"
At this, the young man bent down, picked up yet another
starfish, and threw it into the ocean. As it met the water, he
said, "It made a difference for that one.""
"I found this piece on the craigslist pets section. It sums up the mindset of the people in the animal field, whether it be veterinary, rescue, rehab, or all of the above. You see, we KNOW we can't save them all. But for the ones we can save, what a difference it makes.
Adapted from The Star Thrower by Loren Eiseley
Once upon a time, there was a wise man who used to go to
the ocean to do his writing. He had a habit of walking on the
beach before he began his work.
One day, as he was walking along the shore, he looked down
the beach and saw a human figure moving like a dancer. He
smiled to himself at the thought of someone who would dance
to the day, and so, he walked faster to catch up.
As he got closer, he noticed that the figure was that of a young
man, and that what he was doing was not dancing at all. The
young man was reaching down to the shore, picking up small
objects, and throwing them into the ocean.
He came closer still and called out "Good morning! May I ask
what it is that you are doing?"
The young man paused, looked up, and replied "Throwing
starfish into the ocean."
"I must ask, then, why are you throwing starfish into the
ocean?" asked the somewhat startled wise man.
To this, the young man replied, "The sun is up and the tide is
going out. If I don't throw them in, they'll die."
Upon hearing this, the wise man commented, "But, young
man, do you not realize that there are miles and miles of beach
and there are starfish all along every mile? You can't possibly
make a difference!"
At this, the young man bent down, picked up yet another
starfish, and threw it into the ocean. As it met the water, he
said, "It made a difference for that one.""
The NFL
The NFL disgusts me right now. I find the whole Patriots love-fest sickening. We're supposed to be happy for and congratulate a team of cheaters? Let's not forget that they were caught at the beginning of this year, during their first game, with a video camera on the sidelines of the other team. Not only that, but they were caught in 2006 as well during the Packers game! You'd think that near miss would have scared them straight, but NO, there they were, CHEATING AGAIN! And we're supposed to be all excited that they won all 16 of their games? Well, DUH, that's the point of cheating! It'd be pretty awful if they were cheating and DIDN'T win. That would not only make them cheaters, but it'd make them inept cheaters! I'm tired of hearing about how this team is just the greatest thing since sliced bread. They're CHEATERS. That is what I think when I hear "The Patriots" or "Tom Brady this" or "Tom Brady that." I'm f-in TIRED of hearing about how amazing they are. They CHEATED. They're not amazing, they're no better than used up gum boiling in the sun waiting to get stuck on your shoe.
And don't give me the "Everybody does it" excuse. That doesn't mean it's okay. Everybody speeds, but the highway patrol is still going to give you a ticket if you get caught. Everybody drinks underage, but if you get caught, again, you get a ticket. If we were going to go with the "Oh, everybody does it" defense, then we could just go on and excuse any "juicing" scandals in sports, too. Cause, you know, EVERYBODY DOES IT! I don't care if Lombardi himself was standing on the sidelines with the high 8, it's not right and they do NOT deserve all these accolades. It's a hollow victory.
And don't tell me that they were properly punished, either. That team should have been suspended and kept from the playoffs. They definitely should have been stripped of that first win against the Jets. But Bill Belichick had to pay a fine and the team was fined and they lost a first round draft pick you say. That is a slap on the wrist and we all know it. Belichick spends more on Brylcream than he was fined. The team spends more on laundry detergent than it was fined. Big woop they lost a draft pick. Guess what? They still have a first round draft pick from their trade to San Francisco for Randy Moss (who is being touted as a football genius all of a sudden, but the last time I heard his name before this season was when that Outkast song came on the radio, you know the one I mean). They also have a THIRD round draft pick from another trade. So losing ONE pick didn't hurt them one bit. It's like if Leno loses a car. He has a billion others, he won't miss that one. So where, exactly, was the team hurt in a long term manner? Oh yeah, they weren't. Good going Commish. You really SHOWED them. What's that? You're too busy kissing Tom Brady's impersonable ass? And don't get me started on all of this "great human being" crap people keep babbling on about concerning Brady.
You know who we REALLY need to be celebrating? Brett Favre! That's a football legend. How many records did he break this year? Oh yeah, 3 and counting. Now THERE's a great human being AND a great quarterback. Hands down Favre is THE BEST quarterback in the game. And he didn't have to cheat to get there.
I can't wait for The Patriots to get taken out during the playoffs. It's coming. It's only a matter of time.
And don't give me the "Everybody does it" excuse. That doesn't mean it's okay. Everybody speeds, but the highway patrol is still going to give you a ticket if you get caught. Everybody drinks underage, but if you get caught, again, you get a ticket. If we were going to go with the "Oh, everybody does it" defense, then we could just go on and excuse any "juicing" scandals in sports, too. Cause, you know, EVERYBODY DOES IT! I don't care if Lombardi himself was standing on the sidelines with the high 8, it's not right and they do NOT deserve all these accolades. It's a hollow victory.
And don't tell me that they were properly punished, either. That team should have been suspended and kept from the playoffs. They definitely should have been stripped of that first win against the Jets. But Bill Belichick had to pay a fine and the team was fined and they lost a first round draft pick you say. That is a slap on the wrist and we all know it. Belichick spends more on Brylcream than he was fined. The team spends more on laundry detergent than it was fined. Big woop they lost a draft pick. Guess what? They still have a first round draft pick from their trade to San Francisco for Randy Moss (who is being touted as a football genius all of a sudden, but the last time I heard his name before this season was when that Outkast song came on the radio, you know the one I mean). They also have a THIRD round draft pick from another trade. So losing ONE pick didn't hurt them one bit. It's like if Leno loses a car. He has a billion others, he won't miss that one. So where, exactly, was the team hurt in a long term manner? Oh yeah, they weren't. Good going Commish. You really SHOWED them. What's that? You're too busy kissing Tom Brady's impersonable ass? And don't get me started on all of this "great human being" crap people keep babbling on about concerning Brady.
You know who we REALLY need to be celebrating? Brett Favre! That's a football legend. How many records did he break this year? Oh yeah, 3 and counting. Now THERE's a great human being AND a great quarterback. Hands down Favre is THE BEST quarterback in the game. And he didn't have to cheat to get there.
I can't wait for The Patriots to get taken out during the playoffs. It's coming. It's only a matter of time.
Friday, July 28, 2006
first post
here's me blog. the THIRD one i own. i can usually be found on livejournal as sunneyone. i also have a myspace.
so i don't know how much i'll actually be posting on HERE. lol.
so i don't know how much i'll actually be posting on HERE. lol.
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