I don't update this blog nearly as often as I should. It's been almost 4 years since I posted about Fares. Still think about him. That's what I do, overthink and obsess about missteps I made 25 years ago. I still wish I could apologize to him. Would be interested to see where he ended up in life.
Not even sure anyone is out there reading this. If you are, cheers! I hope you're having a good year so far. January has been.... interesting. We did have a good Holiday season, though. My Christmas tree is still up. I left our Easter wreath on the door until November. I probably won't leave the tree up that long.....
We have been able to survive this global pandemic. It's been almost two years. Edgar finished first grade and did all of second grade virtually. My job basically closed down. I went from 40 hours a week to maybe ten. It got crazy scary for awhile, but we made it through. At least it allowed me to stay home with Edgar. I eventually got back up to 20 hours or so a week, partly in the office and partly at home. Since September, I've been back in the office 30 hours a week and Edgar is back in school in-person for third grade. I must admit, I miss being home with him. Allen worked pretty much the whole pandemic, although they did go to a rotation of three days on, six days off in small groups for a little while. No one was in the buildings, so they didn't need to do many repairs, just preventative stuff. Between his salary, stimulus funds and unemployment in 2020, we have managed to get by. We even adopted a pair of cats in 2020 - siblings. A boy and a girl. They've been good companions for Edgar.
We survived, but I have not thrived. Other people were learning new things, baking banana bread and working out. I was not. I've been fighting my anxiety and depression. I've been in my head almost the whole time. There were weeks when I didn't go out, I didn't want to be around people. It was frightening. The politicalization of the pandemic has just been so mind blowing. Like what in the actual fuck is wrong with people?
We lost some people, extended family members, church members.... That was incredibly sad. Just heartbreaking and also enraging, because it was so unnecessary. We've had extended family get the virus and fight it off. We have been so blessed to have avoided it. Part of it is because I stay the fuck at home. When I do go out, I'm masked. I got my vaccine. It's not that hard. I have gotten a lot of reading done and seen some movies, binged a lot of shows on all the streaming services we have. I try not to think about how we can't control our circles. Like we come into contact with my colleagues, Allen's colleagues, Edgar's teachers and classmates. And who are THOSE people coming into contact with. It just widens our circle of exposure. And when I let myself think about it, my anxiety spirals. So I try NOT to think about it and just do what I can to stay safe.
What's scary is I have allergies and they have been acting UP for the past two years. CONSTANTLY. I also get headaches and have other issues. Like I have more issues than Life magazine. and EVERY ONE of them have the same symptoms as the 'Rona. So when it all acts up, I don't know what's going on. So far, though, it's just been my other health issues. No 'Rona in this house!
I won't even try to talk about all of the unrest in this country. I have seen it and been appalled by it. People deserve to be treated with dignity and respect. Recognizing that and being a fucking good human shouldn't be political. So while I don't agree with property damage, I think denying human rights is a lot worse. That said, straight anarchy isn't going to do any cause any good or help the problem. We have to sort this out and fix the problems, though. Pro tip: you can't base your life in hate and call yourself a Christian.
We are here. I'm glad you still are.
