Thursday, June 26, 2025

Being Prepared for a Sick Pet

 

Grammar corrected script from a Social Media Vlog posted on my personal Instagram, Facebook, and YouTube in January of 2025.

Arrow was one of our two cats. He was an orange creamsicle baby. He had a blocked urethra and wound up in kidney failure. He passed away at an emergency Vet office a week after he first got sick. He was only 5 years old. He died 12/7/2024.

Hi all. It has been 4 weeks today since we lost our Arrow and it’s just been really painful. We’re all still mourning him. He was Moonbaby’s true sibling. They were littermates. So, I know she misses him, they were together their whole lives. I just keep thinking about how young he was and how unnecessary his death was and all the mistakes I made that final week, and actually even before that final week. And I’m sorry if I cry. I’m gonna cry. I’ve been crying. I screamed in the car when I was alone. Because I knew I wouldn’t scare her or anybody else. And we will talk about grief in another video, but today I want to talk about the mistakes I made and share the tragic wisdom I’ve learned in the hopes that I can help somebody else avoid losing their baby.

The first mistake actually happened before he even got sick. We missed his yearly checkup. I broke my leg this past summer, and he got backburnered. And I really regret that now, because maybe they would have done a test, maybe they would have seen signs. Maybe they would have said “Hey, Ginger cats, especially boys, tend to do this so here’s some signs.” We would have been forewarned. Preventative care is really important. Because if we’d had that conversation, I would have known what to look for. Maybe I would have gotten him care soon because he was presenting odd behavior Monday night (12/2/2024). And then Tuesday morning was when he woke me up at 3:30 in the morning, whimpering in the litter box. But Monday, he was showing signs of distress, and I should have heeded that. So preventative care, if they’re acting strangely, get them help.

During the preventative care, talk to your vet, especially if they have a condition, about what you can do for them. Ask the vet if your baby’s breed is prone to any illnesses or if your baby may develop an ailment due to their unique makeup. MAKE a plan, because a crisis is GOING to happen. It’s not if, it’s when. And when it happens, it helps to be prepared. So, talk to your vet about different care strategies. This includes:

·         * Things you can do to mitigate a condition if something’s presenting.     

       *Where you can take them if there’s a crisis after hours, if your vet’s not a 24-hour vet. 

·         * Once you figure out where you can take them, you have to know how you’re going to pay for their care.

If your regular vet does not operate 24 hours a day, ask them who they recommend for emergency care. We live in a major metropolitan area with a vet school close by, so we have several options. I initially picked the closest geographical location, but that was not the best economical location. If you have options, research their rates, their location, and their online rating. The location I chose was a good vet, but they were in a new building, which means their rates included paying off the real estate. An older, established location may not charge as much because the practice is not trying to pay down debt. Distance, not money, may be a factor for you. Pick the location that is best for YOUR situation.

Most vets are going to take major credit cards or debit cards. They may take cash and check. You’d have to talk to your chosen vet about that, preferably before an emergency. But if you don’t have savings built up or room on your credit card, there are lines of credit you can get. There are several. Your chosen vet can probably recommend a service. Pick the one that is best for your family situation. I was afraid to apply for one the first night Arrow was sick. And it’s really difficult to make financial decisions when you’re in emotional distress and exhausted at 5:00 in the morning. It’s better to do it at 4:00 in the afternoon on a Saturday when there’s not a crisis. Or whenever you make your plan for your baby.

There are so many things I wish I could go back and redo for Arrow. And I hope it doesn’t happen to you. Because this hurts. He should still be here with us. This baby (Moon) should not be laying here alone. She should be playing with him.

Good luck, Pet Pals.

To sum this up:

1.     1. Preventative care – yearly checkups, ask the vet if your baby’s breed has common issues.

2.      2. Make a plan – where to go and how to pay.

3.     3. If your pet has a condition or is prone to develop a condition, know the signs.

4.     4. Respond to odd behavior immediately.

Saturday, March 12, 2022

An Answer!

 Well, I got an answer. It wasn't the one I wanted, but it's an answer and I'm relieved to finally. I'm pretty sure Fares blocked me on LinkedIn. His profile is no longer visible to me. Which tells me maybe he DOES remember me and not so fondly. Which is what I wanted to know. 

I'm a little sad, because I didn't want to reconnect and speak with him. But at least now I know he's out there. I guess. I don't know 100% that that was him, but there's a high probability. 

I wish him well. I wish I had gotten to speak with him, but I wish him well in life.

Wednesday, March 09, 2022

Is there anyone out there?

 I can't tell if this is posting or not. I don't know if anyone is reading this. I'm just putting this out to the Universe. I just realized how hard it is to find me on Google because in North Carolina there are towns with my name. Anyone looking for me is going to get a geography lesson about NC. :/

So if Fares ever looked for me, he would not have found me. I've tried to make myself easier to find, but that still requires him to look again. If he ever looked the first time.

I'm putting this out to the Universe that I want Fares to find me. Please look for me......

So even if no one else is reading this, at least it's out there.

Monday, March 07, 2022

Unfinished Business


 I can't stop thinking about Fares. Several weeks ago I prayed about this situation, because it just wasn't going away. So I prayed. The next morning, something sent me to LinkedIn. I go on there about once every 6 months. It's rare I go there. I searched his name. I typed Fares and before I got 4 letters into the last name a photo popped up. My heart started racing because I think "It's HIM!" I sat on it for a day then decided to be an adult and clicked "connect" with a vague message of "I think I know you". I should have added a little more detail to that in case he saw it in his email and shrugged it off.

That was about 3 weeks ago, maybe 4 now and he hasn't responded. It's still listed as Pending, so he didn't reject me, but he also hasn't responded. 

This is insane, but I cannot stop thinking about Fares. NOT in a romantic way, this was never about that. At least not for me. But I just feel like I need to talk to him. Unfortunately, on LinkenIn, you have to have a premium membership to send messages to someone you are not connected to. BOTH parties have to have it. Since I can't presume he does, I have to wait and see if he ever connects with me.

WHY would I be led to LinkedIn to be sitting in pending purgatory? I keep waiting and praying for his well-being. Because I feel like SOMETHING is pushing me toward reconnecting with him.

Sunday, January 30, 2022

Haunted by my poor decisions

 I read a lot. I recently finished a great historical novel about Nancy Wake, who was a soldier in the French Resistance during WWII. Again, a GREAT book, called Code Name Helene. Of course, reading about France brought up the thoughts of of my pen pals, specifically Fares. I'm putting it out there to the Universe that I'd like to find out how he is. But I can't find his letters anymore. I think I lost them in a move ten years ago. And I never knew how to spell his last name properly. So I'm not likely to find him on my own.

I don't know what I expect. Like, what, I miraculously find him, he remembers me fondly, totally forgives me and we are BFF's? I get absolution from him for being an asshole to him almost 30 years ago? But since I have hit a dead end in finding him, he would have to be the one to look for me. And that's not likely to happen, right? Unless he's out there searching for Hope Broadway that went to NC State in the 1990s and lived in Carroll Hall and then Alexander Hall. He probably burnt my letters back in the day after I blew him off and then never thought of me again. Because that's what you do when someone is rude to you. I'm so sorry. You deserved better. I owe you thanks, too, because you DID make me think and you gave me INXS. I hope you are doing well, that you got married to an amazing woman, had 4 kids and now have 8 grandkids and more on the way and have a nice, comfortable life.

I can't even tell if anyone is reading this.

Saturday, January 29, 2022

Music

 I posted this meme to Facebook earlier today that said "Empaths don't just listen to music for entertainment it's a spiritual experience when we listen to music we like, it does something to our soul." 

And that is so truth. EVERY thing in my life connects to music. Every experience. Every moment. The song "When I See You Smile" reminds me of the time period just after my dad's death. I was packing to go to my grandmother's for his funeral (he lived in a different town) and that song was on the radio. It was so fitting for the whole situation.

Music is just so tied into my life. I think about college and the music associated with it. 

I think about times with my best friend, a fellow empath. We ALWAYS had music going. 

Music is this beautiful, amazing thing.

What's poppin?

 I don't update this blog nearly as often as I should. It's been almost 4 years since I posted about Fares. Still think about him. That's what I do, overthink and obsess about missteps I made 25 years ago. I still wish I could apologize to him. Would be interested to see where he ended up in life.

Not even sure anyone is out there reading this. If you are, cheers! I hope you're having a good year so far. January has been.... interesting. We did have a good Holiday season, though. My Christmas tree is still up. I left our Easter wreath on the door until November. I probably won't leave the tree up that long.....

We have been able to survive this global pandemic. It's been almost two years. Edgar finished first grade and did all of second grade virtually. My job basically closed down. I went from 40 hours a week to maybe ten. It got crazy scary for awhile, but we made it through. At least it allowed me to stay home with Edgar. I eventually got back up to 20 hours or so a week, partly in the office and partly at home. Since September, I've been back in the office 30 hours a week and Edgar is back in school in-person for third grade. I must admit, I miss being home with him. Allen worked pretty much the whole pandemic, although they did go to a rotation of three days on, six days off in small groups for a little while. No one was in the buildings, so they didn't need to do many repairs, just preventative stuff. Between his salary, stimulus funds and unemployment in 2020, we have managed to get by. We even adopted a pair of cats in 2020 - siblings. A boy and a girl. They've been good companions for Edgar.

We survived, but I have not thrived. Other people were learning new things, baking banana bread and working out. I was not. I've been fighting my anxiety and depression. I've been in my head almost the whole time. There were weeks when I didn't go out, I didn't want to be around people. It was frightening. The politicalization of the pandemic has just been so mind blowing. Like what in the actual fuck is wrong with people?

We lost some people, extended family members, church members.... That was incredibly sad. Just heartbreaking and also enraging, because it was so unnecessary. We've had extended family get the virus and fight it off. We have been so blessed to have avoided it. Part of it is because I stay the fuck at home. When I do go out, I'm masked. I got my vaccine. It's not that hard. I have gotten a lot of reading done and seen some movies, binged a lot of shows on all the streaming services we have. I try not to think about how we can't control our circles. Like we come into contact with my colleagues, Allen's colleagues, Edgar's teachers and classmates. And who are THOSE people coming into contact with. It just widens our circle of exposure. And when I let myself think about it, my anxiety spirals. So I try NOT to think about it and just do what I can to stay safe.

What's scary is I have allergies and they have been acting UP for the past two years. CONSTANTLY. I also get headaches and have other issues. Like I have more issues than Life magazine. and EVERY ONE of them have the same symptoms as the 'Rona. So when it all acts up, I don't know what's going on. So far, though, it's just been my other health issues. No 'Rona in this house! 

I won't even try to talk about all of the unrest in this country. I have seen it and been appalled by it. People deserve to be treated with dignity and respect. Recognizing that and being a fucking good human shouldn't be political. So while I don't agree with property damage, I think denying human rights is a lot worse. That said, straight anarchy isn't going to do any cause any good or help the problem. We have to sort this out and fix the problems, though. Pro tip: you can't base your life in hate and call yourself a Christian.

We are here. I'm glad you still are.

Saturday, April 07, 2018

Fares B.

A few years ago I started reading a book series by Cara Black about a private detective in Paris. The first book was set in 1994 and centered around hate crimes against Jewish people and the murder of a WWII survivor. It was a great book and I highly recommend the series. Beyond it being a great book, it resonated with me for a personal reason.
In college, I had two French pen pals. I started writing them during my freshman year. My next door neighbor had three pen pals and she gave me the addresses for two of them. One of them was a blonde haired surfer guy. He was really cool and even visited me once. We lost contact as school got harder and I got a boyfriend. I did look for and find him on Facebook after reading that book. We don't talk much as we're both married with children and working. But he's out there.
The other guy I did not find, though I looked. I really wanted to tell him something. A few weeks ago, this all came back up for me after reading a blog post about INXS. And I still felt like I needed to tell him something.
My pen pal's name is Fares. His last name starts with a B. Part of the reason​ I couldn't find him a few years ago is that I probably spelled his name wrong. He always asked me not to butcher his name but he never would email me so I had it in a readable format. He wrote with a block handwriting that I just couldn't fully decipher.
The relationship had a rocky start. He couldn't understand why my neighbor stopped writing him and I hated being in the middle. He kept asking me what was the matter with her and I didn't know what to tell him that wouldn't be insulting. She thought he was weird. I don't think he was. But he was INTENSE. He was very political and tried to explain it to me. He tried to tell me about the prejudice and hatred toward Jewish people and other immigrants in France, including his family. I didn't get it. I had seen racism. I was born in the South after all. But I thought it was black and white. That was the extent of my experience with racist people. I thought if your skin was light you wouldn't have a problem.
I naively thought antisemitism had been shut down. He tried to tell me how wrong I was. At 18, I wasn't ready for the knowledge he was trying to impart. I just wanted to exchange letters with a cute French boy. And he was cute. He was also more socially aware than I was. It's not that I didn't care. But after he told me, I didn't know what I could do to help.
We tried to talk about other things, likes and dislikes and such. We shared cassette tapes. He sent me an INXS tape once. It was before I really discovered them. I thought they were all Devil Inside and Suicide Blonde. I got into them later. But at the time, I thought the tape, Shabooh Shoobah, was weird. I wound up giving it to a friend. What a jerk move. :/ Who knows what it cost him to send that and it was probably his personal tape! The irony is, one of my favorite songs of theirs, Don't Change, is off that album! After reading the blog about them, I binged listened to them. Don't Change makes me so sad. I was in a funk for days, thinking about 19 year old me and what I'd wasted. Mostly my relationship with Fares.
What I wish I could say to him is that I'm sorry and he deserved better. I'm sorry for being a blockhead. I'm sorry for being put off by your intensity. I'm sorry I stopped writing you. I wish I could find you to see how you turned out. I hope you have a happy home and that you've found acceptance in your country. I hope you have forgiven me. I hope when you think of me, IF you think of me, that you don't think I was a stupid hopeless case. I hope my airheadedness didn't put you off of other people from my demographic. And I hope you're still working for the underdog. I also want to say thank you. Thank you for trying to help me grow.